A Taste

Today as YEC ended it's first session of the first something amazing happened, people made some amazing decisions with God. People came to Christ for the first time, recommitted, and decided many other things.

I think it was quite amazing and my only thought that consumed my mind was that i was being a part of something amazing. Literally as Brock Gill finished up his talk after some amazing and death defying illusions, hundreds of kids poured out of the stands and seats to come and make commitments and covenants with their Lord. It was so beautiful.

As i saw the space we had designated for all of this fill up it was so moving, emotions just welling up inside waiting to explode. All i could think about was just praising God and my thoughts were "Amen. Amen. Amen!"

And as i ran through the area full of people making sure things were ready for the night i felt as if i was going in slow motion. I felt, as i answered questions and helped others, that i was getting a taste of what is to come. I just felt like this is what i was going to be a part of. I felt that God was allowing me to see the joy that He has set up. I felt that i had nothing to offer but my heavenly pops had everything under control. I know that i have nothing, but it was such a blessing to experience this joy with others, this new experience, and watching peoples eyes be unveiled to God's beauty.

I need God more then God needs me. That phrase is very prevalent and very humbling in my life right now. I really do think i was given a taste of joy and a taste of my future of what is to come.

Amen. Amen Amen!

Following Dad

This blog post isn't what it seems.

Not to go into any detail really, if you want to know more about this post... just ask and i will give you the 411.

Just know that i am following Dad in where he leads me and with what he is showing me.  A hard decision was made today, but it was a decision made that makes it so i don't go halfsies on Dad.

I want to follow him completely wherever and however he leads me.  I am excited to see how by saying no to an opportunity the doors he will open and the experiences he will allow me to have.

FTS 3 Years Running

So some of you may not know this but i am best friends with Frosty The Snowman.

I mean we only see each other once a year for the Eastsides Christmas play but we get through those long periods of silence and love each other regardless.

Yah, me and him are pretty tight, just check out some of these pictures.

My 6th Grade Boys

So i am leading a small group of sixth grade boys.  They are pretty rockin.  We meet as a small group for North Metro Church at their middle school gathering on Wednesdays called Sublime.  It is an awesome time.

It is funny to see how the size of my group changes so drastically from week to week but also to see how in depth my boys go from time to time.  There has been a lot of growth in this fall semester and it will be interesting to see how God rocks their and my world.  I am excited to be their small group leader and to see where God leads us.

I plan on staying with these guys as long as i can.

But more importantly... on to the pictures below.  On the last Sublime of the semester we had a joint meeting with both high school and middle school students.  It was a great time where God spoke to the students in some huge ways.  Also, it was in December so as a small group challenge they said the groups would get 100 points for every student and leader in the group wearing a tacky christmas sweater... so my boys forgot their sweaters but luckily i brought some extras so we could get a total of 400 points.  I mean i am pretty excited about it.  And so, without further waiting... here are some pictures.

This is a picture of what God is laying on students heart.

Absolutely beautiful and amazing. 

This is probably one of the sexiest men alive... Joe Shelton

And these guys, they are MY BOYS!

These are just some of the guys that are unreal.

Serving Whine

I realized today that serving and complaining, yah, they just don't go together.

I find myself serving at times and just complaining the whole way through.  Or better yet, i will find i am serving and in the right state of mind and then i look over and complain about someone else who isn't working as hard or who i think has just come to help so they can look good in front of others.

How selfish am i to think that i know the reasons behind peoples methods, and whether my guess of another individual is serving so they can look better is correct, it doesn't matter.  Not because i am supposed to mind my own business but because they are doing a part in helping others.  Sure it may not be for the right purposes but it is not for me to judge.  It is for me to encourage because God can use our selfish sinful actions for his glory if he chooses.

I know that sounds a little sketch God using our selfish and sinful actions, but it is true.  God is in control of all things and can bring out beauty in our shame, and can bring out love in our selfishness.

But back to the beginning.  I was helping a friend today carry a box.  I thought we were both going to be carrying a box but it turns out he just wanted me to help him.  So i was carrying a box that was decently heavy all by myself.  Also, it wasn't like i had to move it from one room to another, i had to walk all the way around the inside of the church and then walk around the building and a even a little bit further to get to the parking lot that he had parked in.  From the beginning of getting the box i had complained and whines from time to time.  Half way through this ordeal i realized that one, the guy i was helping always helps me without complaining and two, what good is my help if i am whining?  What good is my help if i really don't love this guy? What good is my help if I whine while serving?  My help is nothing.

You pick that up, my help means nothing if i whine while serving.  When i whine, it certainly isn't benefiting me and i know it may only hurt the other person.

So as i finished carrying the box i just kinda shut up and walked on, and even still i made a sarcastic comment or two i think.  This whole story to say, that i really do want to be a man of love, service and sacrifice, and the only way i can even begin to grow to be that kinda man is giving all of me for all of Him.  Giving all of me and serving with no whining.  Giving all of me and giving up my comforts and all of myself to live love to YOU and others.

I bring nothing

As i have stated before God is changing my heart for missions and traveling around serving others.  God is breaking my heart for what breaks his and giving me a BHAG that only he can accomplish.  And i realize my weakness and that only God can accomplish what he wants me to do.  I realize that with his power and with his leading that i can and will do anything.

But i found myself praying the other day, "Help me bring joy, help me bring peace, help me bring comfort to those in need.  God as you bring me to these places help me bring..."  And i realized and caught myself halfway through this prayer, that i bring nothing.  That i have nothing to give.  That i don't honestly do a thing, but God allows me to witness what he has already brought to other places around the world.

I think it is pretty selfish and pretty arrogant of us to think that God hasn't already been to certain areas of the world.  Missionaries are always saying we are going to bring God to these places.  No you are not.  I hate to mention this but he is already there in those places doing amazing things.  he is just waiting for us to go.  So as i was praying i realized and remembered that God is the creator of all things, and i can only give because he gave me whatever it is that i am giving.  

You following along, or is this clear as mud?

So i realized that as God brings me around the world i get to partake in the joy, peace, and laughter of those that are already there.  I get to partake in the sadness, hurt, and pain that is already there.  I also get the privilege of opening peoples eyes... the ones that are sad, the ones that are in hurting, the ones that are in pain to see the joy, peace and laughter that is really there in front of them.

I bring nothing.  I only get the honor of experiencing what is already there, and opening peoples eyes to what the devil and his demons have blinded them from.

Searching

It seems i am searching for something.

It seems that i am supposed to be learning something.

I find myself looking on the internet at nothing in-particular for long periods of time when i could be filling my mind with knowledge and could be trying hard in school... Yet i just search.

I seem to be searching for worth in many thing from people, girls, drums... These are the things that come to mind right now, but i am pretty sure in thinking more on this, my world would be utterly shattered as i discover what i am putting my worth into.

It seems as i look for worth in other places, i am missing the big picture.  I am missing the fact that my worth is not found in others or in other things, but in God alone.  I realize God wants to bless me with many things, but i put my worth into these blessings instead of the giver of those blessings.

I am lost, searching for God knows what. ( I say that literally not like taking his name in vain)

I know my worth is in him, but i seem to be searching.  Searching for words, actions, conversations, people.  I am just...

Searching.

I AM Wii FIT

I love Wii Fit, it is sooo stinkin cool.  My brother has had it for awhile now, but i have now just started playing it, and it is unreal to me.

I must say that i am becoming Wii Fit.

Now before you mock me and laugh at this post, realize this, that it has work outs that actually work your body and tone it up.  I mean i woke up this morning with sore chest and abs.  Can any other gaming system do that to yah. Huh... HUH!?!

But seriously, this game is amazing, and i just think you all should know.

My heart is changing

One of the prayers that i have had for the longest time now, well really since preparing for Alaska, has been that God would open my ears and eyes to the joys and struggles around me.

As i wake up each morning i try and remember to ask for that and for God to break my heart for what break his.

Now, a slight change in thinking, but it will all connect.  Any who, for the longest time my heart has been hooked to ministry, more specifically speaking and traveling around doing that.  I mean eventually i would love to be either a youth or a lead pastor of a church, but still having the ability to travel around for three months out of the year to go speak at other events.  You may be thinking that is a little crazy, but my ministry just isn't within the church i am with.  Any who, that desire of ministry has expanded to own my own missions organization setting up service projects around the world, and this desire of mine deserves a whole other blog, but ask me about it and i will gladly tell you.

All of that to come to the title of the blog.  My heart is changing.  More correctly stated, it is expanding.  God is breaking my heart for what breaks his and that is to do missions.  I so desire to travel the world serving God rockin it for him.  In praying about it and him growing me in this passion i feel a very clear message.  That message is to get out of this debt that i have incurred and he will send me wherever he desires me to go.

I am excited to see where God is leading me and to where i will serve.  I know and hope that i will be serving people around where i live, which would include my family, but also others in this general area around me.  And i can't wait to serve miles away from where i live, like maybe even Africa.

Again, i am just pumped and excited to see where God is taking me and to see how he will continually prepare for where he wants me to go.

Turkey Day!

I am pretty pumped that my family is here for Turkey day.  They came last night and we made some good Indian food and some good old sghetti (spaghetti) with sauce with sausage.

As last night came to an end we stayed up playing Settlers of Catan till 2 a.m. and it was great. hahah, that game is just so good.  If you want, i will teach you how to play.

Any who, back to Turkey Day.  Everyone is making their own special dishes of food.  I am making desserts such as home-made reeses cups, blueberry pie, and that is about it.  But one of my brothers is making deviled eggs, getting some sushi maybe, and we are just having some great food.  I am stinkin loving it.  Oh i love food and turkey day.

Well that is all... for now.  I know this was brief but i am not fully focused so maybe it was a good thing.  Peace out and A-Town Down.

Turkey, Dublin, Turkey

So this weekend i went down to good old Dublin Georgia and did a SWAT weekend.  I arrived in Athens Friday night to rendezvous with the Delta Force so we could all drive down together and i had some good old SWAT Turkey Day leftovers.

Then i went to Dublin (Story may come in a later blog)

So after an interesting and pretty eye opening weekend i dropped off the Delta Force back in Athens and went to Jon's house to rest and fill up on some good nourishment of leftovers.  So i got myself a plate of turkey and the best something in the world (i think stuffing) and went down stairs to watch a movie.

The movie had Matthew McConaughey, Steve Zahn, and everyones favorite from the show The Office, Rainn Wilson.  This movie was called Sahara and it was made in 2005 and it was actually pretty good. Any ways there came a part where the water was being poisoned and one of the bad guys realizes that, grows a conscience and tries to get out because he thinks he will get called out for it by the African Government and peoples.  Well his partner, the other bad guy tells him that he isn't going to pull out of it and who cares that the water is being poisoned and Africa is slowly dying because... are you ready for this...

"No body cares about Africa"

In hearing that line in the movie my heart broke, because sure, it was just a line in a movie but how true of a line was that.  No body really cares about Africa.  Sure there is Invisible children and the UN trying to help, but in a world of well over 6 billion people we just don't care about Africa.  We just don't care about India, Brazil, Moldova, China, Korea, New Zealand, Alaska, Russia... the list goes on of all that we don't care about.  We are called to fight these evils.

"For we do not wrestle against flsh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places."  Ephesians 6: 12 ESV

And the best part about this is we are supposed to do this with power and authority, with a fierceness that we, the body of Christ, won't lose.

"And I tell you, you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it."  Matthew 16:18 ESV

We are called to fight not against people, but against disease, hate, sins, pain, hurt... and this list goes on as well too.  

In hearing nobody cares about Africa my heart broke, but that means nothing if i don't take up my calling and fight the devil and his demons.  So help me in this cause, i am going to find out what i can do here and abroad, and i want to encourage you to find out how to break this crutch, this gate of not caring, and storm into hell and break the darkness that surrounds peoples lives.

Psalm 106: 19-20

So i am going through this endeavor of reading through the Bible and even though it is taking me a little longer then i planned on... i am still pushing through and learning ohhh so much.  I am in Psalm right now and loving it so much.  Well i recently came to a chapter and a couple of verses, hence the title, and they rocked my world.  They rocked it so much that after reading the rest of the chapter i had to go back and reflect.

Psalm 106: 19-20

"They made a calf in Horeb and worshiped a metal image.  They exchanged the glory of God for the image of an ox that eats grass."  (ESV)

I mean wow! WOW!  That just stabs me right in the heart.  I think about all the things i have traded for the glory of the Lord.  I think about how i have forgotten about his great glory and traded him... my God and my worship for him for a few hours of mind-numbing fun with a video game, for a few moments of cuddling with a girl or just to hold her hand.  I think about how i have traded that love and worship for God to worship this idol of hate and bitterness towards people closest to me such as family and friends.

This verse cuts deep.  What ox, that only eats grass, have you traded your precious and all loving god for?

So long

Wow, it has been so long since i have done a post, a little over a week.  Sorry for the not posting in so long, but I was just at a point of emptiness.  Not at a point with no stories, but just couldn't and didn't want to write anything.

But this post... the one you are right now reading, is the beginning of all the new posts that are to come in the recent of days.  Some posts, well really all posts of my past week of adventures and some encouragement.

Hope you enjoy,

Paul Stippich

Psalm 18

Psalm 18, what a great chapter, especially verses 1-6

Psalm 18

The LORD Is My Rock and My Fortress

To the choirmaster. A Psalm of David, the servant of the LORD, who addressed the words of this song to the LORD on the day when the LORD rescued him from the hand of all his enemies, and from the hand of Saul. He said:

I love you, O Lord, my strength.
2 The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer,
my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge,
my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
3 I call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised,
and I am saved from my enemies.

4 The cords of death encompassed me;
the torrents of destruction assailed me;
5 the cords of Sheol entangled me;
the snares of death confronted me.

6 In my distress I called upon the Lord;
to my God I cried for help.
From his temple he heard my voice,
and my cry to him reached his ears.

7 Then the earth reeled and rocked;
the foundations also of the mountains trembled
and quaked, because he was angry.
8 Smoke went up from his nostrils,
and devouring fire from his mouth;
glowing coals flamed forth from him.
9 He bowed the heavens and came down;
thick darkness was under his feet.
10 He rode on a cherub and flew;
he came swiftly on the wings of the wind.
11 He made darkness his covering, his canopy around him,
thick clouds dark with water.
12 Out of the brightness before him
hailstones and coals of fire broke through his clouds.

13 The Lord also thundered in the heavens,
and the Most High uttered his voice,
hailstones and coals of fire.
14 And he sent out his arrows and scattered them;
he flashed forth lightnings and routed them.
15 Then the channels of the sea were seen,
and the foundations of the world were laid bare
at your rebuke, O Lord,
at the blast of the breath of your nostrils.

16 He sent from on high, he took me;
he drew me out of many waters.
17 He rescued me from my strong enemy
and from those who hated me,
for they were too mighty for me.
18 They confronted me in the day of my calamity,
but the Lord was my support.
19 He brought me out into a broad place;
he rescued me, because he delighted in me.

20 The Lord dealt with me according to my righteousness;
according to the cleanness of my hands he rewarded me.
21 For I have kept the ways of the Lord,
and have not wickedly departed from my God.
22 For all his rules were before me,
and his statutes I did not put away from me.
23 I was blameless before him,
and I kept myself from my guilt.
24 So the Lord has rewarded me according to my righteousness,
according to the cleanness of my hands in his sight.

25 With the merciful you show yourself merciful;
with the blameless man you show yourself blameless;
26 with the purified you show yourself pure;
and with the crooked you make yourself seem tortuous.
27 For you save a humble people,
but the haughty eyes you bring down.
28 For it is you who light my lamp;
the Lord my God lightens my darkness.
29 For by you I can run against a troop,
and by my God I can leap over a wall.
30 This God—his way is perfect;
the word of the Lord proves true;
he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him.

31 For who is God, but the Lord?
And who is a rock, except our God?—
32 the God who equipped me with strength
and made my way blameless.
33 He made my feet like the feet of a deer
and set me secure on the heights.
34 He trains my hands for war,
so that my arms can bend a bow of bronze.
35 You have given me the shield of your salvation,
and your right hand supported me,
and your gentleness made me great.
36 You gave a wide place for my steps under me,
and my feet did not slip.
37 I pursued my enemies and overtook them,
and did not turn back till they were consumed.
38 I thrust them through, so that they were not able to rise;
they fell under my feet.
39 For you equipped me with strength for the battle;
you made those who rise against me sink under me.
40 You made my enemies turn their backs to me,
and those who hated me I destroyed.
41 They cried for help, but there was none to save;
they cried to the Lord, but he did not answer them.
42 I beat them fine as dust before the wind;
I cast them out like the mire of the streets.

43 You delivered me from strife with the people;
you made me the head of the nations;
people whom I had not known served me.
44 As soon as they heard of me they obeyed me;
foreigners came cringing to me.
45 Foreigners lost heart
and came trembling out of their fortresses.

46 The Lord lives, and blessed be my rock,
and exalted be the God of my salvation—
47 the God who gave me vengeance
and subdued peoples under me,
48 who delivered me from my enemies;
yes, you exalted me above those who rose against me;
you rescued me from the man of violence.

49 For this I will praise you, O Lord, among the nations,
and sing to your name.
50 Great salvation he brings to his king,
and shows steadfast love to his anointed,
to David and his offspring forever. (ESV)

I don't know

Right now... i just dont know.  I don't feel like writing anything for a little, so the climbing and the pictures will have to wait.

Sorry.  I am just crushed, that is all.

Cutie Batootie!!!

Well ever since this new creation known as Rylynn entered the world it seems that my sister April has been pulling the Uncle / Brother card on me... and i couldn't be happier.  I stinkin love watchin my little nephew Kayle.  I mean he is pretty great.  I cant wait for Rylynn to get out of her useless baby phase.

I know i know, that sounds so harsh... useless baby phase, but i really just want to play with her.  I mean sure we could have fun with her, holding her, moving her mouth and making her talk and say funny things, but ehhh.  I mean all she does is just lay there and look cute. Now Kayle on the other hand runs around shouting "Ball, ball" and when you think he is just shouting out that word, all of a sudden, like magic... a ball appears as he finds one.

But anyways, even though i had to bail on watching Kayle for my sister because of a test one morning, i got to make it up a little later, and here are some pictures of that joyous time.

More to come

I just wanted to put all of you at ease by saying there are some pictures and fun to come.  So stay tuned in.  Get ready to be a little grossed out and enjoy the ride, because tomorrow (really today... it is just to early to say today) you will most likely have some posts that leave you saying. "Are you serious. That is crazy and looks like it hurts."

V-Ball and Bowling

So tonight was an eventful night.  It was filled with watching Kayle, my cute little nephew, going to see the KSU ladies volleyball team, and ending the night with some bowling.

Well watching my nephew was great because he slept an hour longer then he was supposed to which was fantastic because once he woke up, my sister was pretty much done with the conference call she was on and Conrad, my brother-in-law was back about 15 minutes after he had woken up.  And really, the only reason why he woke up was because April turned off the fan outside his room.  But i got a few pictures of him, which i will load up tomorrow... or something like that.

Then i skidadled over to KSU to see the ladies play some volleyball.  I mean the main reason was to meet one of my good friends best friends, but it just didnt work out.  KSU lost to Jacksonville  but it was still fun to watch.  The score was close at times which made it very exciting.  Also, i didn't really understand that one girl on each team was wearing a jersey that was opposite the rest of the girls, my guess is to signify the captain.

Well after that i went home, got some stuff and then went bowling with a few others: Cory, Blakely, Luke, JL, Scott (and then me) - (the way the list is, is how we bowled tonight).  We had a team goal to get 800 combined score and it took us three times, but man, on the third try we blew that score out of the water by getting over 900.  It was pretty unstinkinbelievable!  Well that was my night.  Thanks for listening.  Tune in tomorrow to hear a little about climbing. 

Girls Girls Girls

I think the title of this post is kinda a big foreshadow of what this post is about.

To be honest, girls have always been so interesting and have held a idol like place within my life.  I understand that nothing is supposed to come before God and i believe that i am keeping him first.  I believe that i have laid these idols at his feet and walked away and not looked back in hopes of something more between me and that "idol."

My mindset of dating is a little different then most guys and i honestly guard myself now from going to future focused or delving right into this mindset of dating when it comes to girls.  

I know most of this post will be jumbled up thoughts but hopefully it will all come together to paint somewhat of a consistent and descriptive picture of where i am at.

Last night at Echo my mind was so distracted, plus i was really tired so i didn't take away too much from last nights lesson, which is a shame.  But anyways my mind was distracted by the days events and just some friendships that are starting up, one with a girl more specifically.  I just want to get to know her but it is so conflicting with other interests of encouraging and pursuing others.  I am lost and have no idea what is right or what to do.  But as i was thinking about everything and just praying to God, this idea of trusting him came into my mind.

See ever since i started dating in college my mind has been consumed with this pursuit of a girl.  It hasn't always been the same girl, just a girl in general.  My actions, mind and everything reflects this pursuit and at times i have let that girl slip into a place where she should not be... above God.  

Throughout this pursuit, I have had some great conversations with some amazing and knowledgeable people which have helped shape me into the person i am today when it comes to relationships.  I can still see some of my old self shining through and i can still see myself becoming a man consumed fully by God as he directs me in life and as he allows me pursuits, especially pursuits of THAT girl.  

All of that to say this, last night God spoke to me saying... "give all of your worries, all of your pursuits, all of these girl situations and thoughts to me.  Give them up.  Trust me."  And i found myself having a struggle doing that.  I found myself not willing to let go fully.  I found myself thinking, well what if relationships are ruined, what if we never start dating, what will she think.  God i still want to encourage them,  I still want to hang out with them.  And to be honest, even now my mind and my everything is having so much trouble letting go, but i know i need to.  I need to fully let go of all of that to him.

I dont know what is going to happen, i don't know what is next.  All i know is that as hard as it is going to be, i am going to trust in God.  I don't know what my actions will be or anything, i just know that i need to give all of this up.  So pray for me, and if i can pray for you, let me know.  Because right now i have no idea about a lot of stuff, but i do know that i desire to be in a community that lifts each other up.

Myself and I

This is the continuation of Me, the blog post.  And so let me start this all off, i am incredibly selfish.  I think about me all the time.  Everything within my small little world revolves around me and i am starting to see that now, and to be honest, it is crap.  I hate this view that i have.  I honestly want to be selfless.  I want to be a person who gives up everything.  I want to be someone who builds community, sacrifices, serves and loves others, but right now that is not the picture that i am getting of myself.

I hate being selfish, it is over rated and is against everything that i am about... which is LOVE.

1 Corinthians 13: 5 "Love does not demand its own way." (NLT)

That verse is so amazing and speaks so loudly to me.  I think of that verse and how much i fall short of actually accomplishing that verse.  I think about how much i fail to live by it.  I mean i am selfish with my family, friends, relationship with God, and even in my pursuit of that one special woman.  Everything seemingly has to be close to me or based on my schedule or for my benefit.  I mean in thinking about this idea of selfishness i know i am getting better about it as God is breaking me, but as a whole, i know God is still restoring me in to a man who sacrifices and gives his all with love.  God is restoring me into something amazing, i just don't know and can't see the finished product yet.

I want to be broken so badly of this idea of being selfish.  Of, if i can't do something right away or it doesn't fully concern me, it will be done on my time and when i feel like it.  Because of that type of mindset, i forgot to drop off my mom's lunch at school and i failed to register my friend for a class in time.  

My life is all about me... and i want to be broken of that.

Me

I am really really selfish!  I just wanted you all to know that.  I am really really selfish.  Sure i do selfless things from time to time.  In fact, right now i have just agreed to speak at an FCA here around Marietta.  The high school is Walton.  I'm have to be there at 7 A.M.!!! on a day i could sleep in. I know that is me giving up my time but still, in the grand scheme of things i am just soo stinkin selfish.  

And it is eating me alive.  More will come on this later but... i feel so selfish. 

Scoop of disappointment :(

Well i went out to dinner with my muder and me bruder, after me and my broham did some convincing to get her to come along.

At first we went to the Peachtree Diner and mom was excited because i mean... who isn't excited about a diner.  Diners, Drive-ins and Dives with Guy Fieri for peets sake.  Umm so at first glance i saw it looked real fancy and then i remembered that i had seen the menu online and they had conveniently forgotten the prices, and now i can see why. IT WAS PRICY! Ok, so we totally dipped out after our waiter put down napkins and we said we would wait for my mom to get back before we would get drinks.  I mean when she got back, she looked at the menu and agreed and we left, out the side door of course and walked right across the street to Olive Garden.

Now the Olive Garden on the other hand was off the chain tasty and italian.  We had a great server who graduated from my high school in 02, a little before my time, but hey, what a grand place to graduate from.

Well after we had our tasty food, which i have stored in my refrigerator with name on box for lunch tomorrow, Boo yah! we headed further down towards Alpharetta so we could get a free scoop of Ben and Jerry's ice cream.  Thanks election day! :)  Sadly, after my mom may have whined about it taking a little bit to get there, haha, we saw the line was forever long so we just skipped out on it.  And then we decided to not get a free donut from Krispy Kreme because it would be just one donut and out of the way, oh and did i forget to mention we just didn't get our free Starbucks either?

Yes, all of these free items because we Americans use our right to vote, and yet none.  I mean in the end we went to Wally-World and mom, ohh my lovely mother, bought all of ice some Ben and Jerry's pints.  But still, i am just a little, teensy disappointed in our lack of getting freeness.

(Ummm so this little blip right here will be replaced with two pictures, but for now... read and enjoy, and then re-read again and again.) Thanks 

VOTED!

Yes, that is right... i voted for the first time ever in a Presidential race.  I feel pretty excited.

Just so you know, i voted for John McCain.

Also i would just like to add a few more thoughts

1. Even though i don't want him to win, i legitimitly think Barack Obama is going to win.

2.  No matter the turn out of this "huge and monumental" event, this isn't new news to God.  It isn't like he is reading this book called life and saying, "man i shouldn't have gotten lazy and skipped this chapter.   Hmmmm what am i to do to fix this."

And with that last thought, i feel that some people like los have a great mindset, pray for both candidates that God will bless them with wisdom and help guide them in future decisions.  I know this is a scary time for some and even me, but God will handle this all... i am just going to choose to follow God no matter what.

Daniel 2: 21 "He controls the course of world events; he removes kings and sets up other kings. He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the scholars." (NLT)

Truth

Thesaurus.com, the kindred brother of Dictionary.com gives some pretty interesting synonyms for the word truth.  So let me give you a big old copy and paste of what it says.

Main Entry: truth
Part of Speech: noun
Definition: honesty, loyalty
Synonyms: authenticity, candor, constancy, dedication, devotion, dutifulness, faith, faithfulness, fidelity, frankness, integrity, openness, realism, revelation, sincerity, uprightness, veridicality, verity

As i was reading 1 Corinthians 13: 6 a thought popped into my head.  So before we delve into this thought, lets look at that verse.  "It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out." (NLT)

I think this verse is so meaning and versatile, especially when you apply it to your life.  The thought that popped up into my head was what does the word truth really mean, especially in the context of this verse.  When you look at this verse ad apply it to your life it means something amazing.

This verse is right smack dab in the middle of some verses that are describing the definition of love, the kinda love that God has for us.  The 2 verses before and the 1 after describe God's love for us in all situations.  So in thinking like that, about God loving us in all situations i thought about the times that i mess up and sin.  I think about the times when i worry, when i do something that i probably should have put more thought into, when i give up and am broken and God loves me in all those situations.  The biggest situation to me that jumps out the most is ones revolving around when i mess up and sin.

At the beginning it says Love, aka God, is never Glad at injustice, injustice being sin, but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.  Kinda seems simple, TRUTH is not sinning, but that phrase not sinning just didn't seem to be the whole kit and caboodle for me so i looked in a little further to this verse.  I focused on the word truth and as you see from the top it has many synonyms such as dedication, devotion, integrity, and  sincerity.

I find it amazing that truth is integrity, sincerity, dedication and devotion.  All words that are so powerful and so descriptive of love, action, and emotion that is so crucial and so life altering.  God rejoices in the times when we are sincere, when we are dedicated and stick to his word with integrity, and also when we show devotion to him.  This verse just jumps out at me when i think about it.  When i realize that in my sin he isn't glad that i stumble into it, but when i beat those temptations, when i respond in dedication and sincerity,  my god rejoices uncontrollably. 

I just feel my life has been altered as God has continued to open my eyes to his wisdom and his scripture.  I feel by diving into this verse it has opened my eyes even further into the love my god has for me.

Remember that God loves you and is so excited and so encouraging as we pick whichever option is the truth.

How He Loves

I wish I and everyone else could understand the truth of these lyrics:

He is jealous for me
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight
Of His wind and mercy
All of a sudden I am unaware of
These afflictions eclipsed by glory
And I realize just how beautiful You are
And how great Your affections are for me

Oh, how He loves us so
Oh, how He loves us
How He loves us so

Yeah He loves us
Oh how He loves us
Oh how He loves us
Oh how He loves

We are His portion and He is our prize
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes
If His grace is an ocean we’re all sinking
And heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets
When I think about the way

That He loves us
Oh how He loves us
Oh how He loves us
Oh how He loves

Yeah He loves us
Oh how He loves us
Oh how He loves us
Oh how He loves

Eddie Kirkland - How He Loves

I find that these lyrics and the beauty of God's love is made most evident and clear to me in the times that i am most undeserving of God's unending love.  I find it amazing that in the worst of times i can find myself consumed and surrounded by his grace and love.  As my back is turned to God... he is always turned towards me whispering, shouting, speaking, showing, his love for me.  I wish with everything in me that i could fully grasp his love for me so that could reciprocate it in full not only towards him but towards those around me. I wish with everything in me that my grasp of his love would penetrate my very being, everything i do so that i can live all out for him.

Somehow find a version of this song, and just let the words play over you and dwell on his perfect and unending love for you.  I have a feeling more posts about his love will be coming soon.  Just for the 411. :)

Oh...

I wish i could fully grasp and understand just how much he does, because i would reciprocate it in full.

Learning in Alaska

Never let the truth get in the way of a good story.

-Scott Kirby

(haha, he says he heard it from his brother or something)

Mixed Madness

The world is your oyster,

so make lemonade.

-Paul Stippich

First of 2 (well not really)

I just want to put some of my favorite quotes up here... but i want to do it in the most lengthy way possible, so i am going to make separate posts for each quote... you know to give each one the honor and respect they deserve.

N-C-Squared

I love this Kid!!! It was so great seeing him not only in a leadership role this weekend, but it was a blast seeing him after he has been gone for way to stinkin long.

I love you Nathan Cornelius Cook!

Eastside's D-Now Weekend

So in case you missed the last post, just started reading the blog, or just plain forgot... This past weekend was Eastside Baptist Church's D-Now.  It was amazing seeing over 150 kids come to the weekend and rock it out.  The theme was Becoming (becoming more like Christ, him transforming you and breaking you of your old ways into something he is longing for you to become)

So the weekend started off at the host homes for the middle schoolers and some of the high schoolers who didn't show up to their Friday night football game.  There was five inflatables, a hotdog eating contest, probably the best brownies in the world and much more.  It was just a time for kids to invite their friends to something fun and to also just have one amazing kick off.  

Saturday night was the night where we had a service.  It had music and speaking and everything. haha.

Well for me, i had 18 guys the entire weekend, luckily i shared the responsibility with another pretty amazing guy named Nathan Evans.  The first hour and a half that we had the kids, they went crazy but after that they pretty much settled down to a nice rowdiness for the whole weekend. :)  Well Nathan and i split the teaching times and even though the kids were pretty respectful and pretty interactive for being 7th and 8th graders there was still plenty of time of trying to focus and quiet them down, which was perfectly fine.

The whole weekend was about getting these kids to realize God's desire to break them of their flesh, of their sin, of things that God hates; to become something that he desires for them so greatly to become.  At the end of the weekend we gave them cardboard to write on one said the phrase " I was..." (Fill in the blank) and on the other side "I am becoming..." (Fill in the blank).

The example that i gave them, i have actually wrote about in a blog before, was this "I was: Lust, Greed, Hate.  I am becoming: Love, Sacrifice, Community."

So as we got the kids to write on the cardboard we played the song How He Loves.  

The whole purpose of this cardboard thing was to give the church a real life example of what happened on this weekend and to see the theme be played out in real life.

I hope and pray that these kids, all 18 who i, by God's grace alone, memorized their names, understand how much God loves them and that he desires so greatly to break them of themselves and of the world to transform them into something so beautiful and something that is 100% HIM.  I hope these kids, if not now, will look back at some point in their life at this weekend and realize that they are becoming something great, or at least have the opportunity to.

Also, i will end with this.  It was so beautiful to see what some of the students wrote on their boards, and it was encouraging and exciting to see some of the decisions that were made by them to follow after Christ and be Baptized.  I mean one of my guys decided TO GET BAPTIZED!!! HOW BEAUTIFUL AND EXCITING IS THAT?  I am pumped to hear and see what God will continue to do.

Here are some pictures from the weekend. (Sunday Morning)

Grant Von Bromley (the trusty cameraman - he is going to be big someday... not size wise, like career wise)

TD!!! You stud you

Aerial View

Some of MY BOYZ!

Great Reminder

Well this past weekend was Eastside Baptist Church's Disciple Now weekend.  It was an amazing time as over 150 kids showed up for an amazing purpose of learning more about what it means to become.  The weekend was called Becoming and it looked mainly at Paul's life and his transformation from Saul to Paul and what his life became.

I will write more on the weekend specifically later, you know, like within the next blog post.

Any who, as i was preparing for all of these lessons and going through the scriptures and main points something hit me pretty big.  As i was going through these four lessons i noticed that i had just taught the first session a few weeks ago to a youth group.  As i went through the second session i realized that i had just learned about this a few days before from a College Bible study i go to, and as i hit the third lesson i realized that i had been studying and reading about this sessions theme for months.  And hearing and learning about the fourth lesson, i could see it in my own life as i struggled to live it out, as i struggled with Christ to live consumed with him and living as he desires me to live.

In looking in these lessons it was a pretty amazing reminder that i am becoming something new.  That on this journey with Christ he is rocking my world and changing me to be more like him.  He is breaking my heart for what breaks his.  And today as i read a friends blog, (click on the word blog), i am reminded of the next few steps that would be pretty clutch to take. 

God is pretty amazing in what he uses to build you and change you.  I am glad there are constant reminders of his glory all around.  Have you seen any yet?

MUCKFEST 08

So there is this little thing called Muckfest at Sublime for Middle Schoolers. (Sublime being the name of the youth group of North Metro Church) It is the Largest Food Fight in Georgia... at least for that day. :)

Let me explain the crazyness of what is supposed to go down. The goal of the entire night is to get the opposing grades "queens" (can be guy or girl, doesn't matter) as dirty as possible. To do this said dirtying there are five rounds.

Round 1 Tomato Paste
Round 2 Bushes Baked Beans (YUMMY)
Round 3 Apple Sauce
Round 4 Log House Maple Syrup
Round 5 Flour

After these five incredibly fun and messy and edible rounds the queens come up to the "front" and the kids judge the messiness of their work by yelling and cheering for who they think wins the night. ( What a great system of judging i think, simple and sweet) Well any who, the grade that wins is the 6TH GRADE!!! :)

Why am i so excited, one because as a ref of the night i got to "keep things under control" and get kids messy and get a little messy myself at the same time, but more importantly is because i lead a small group of 6th grade guys. So yah!!! Woot Woot on the win my friends. :)

And here are some pictures to capture the beauty of the night.

After picture of the craziness

Losing Queen number 1

Losing Queen number 2

And the 6th grade queen who dominated and WON!!!

These are me and some of my boys with their friends.

Start of a break

There are certain things my heart breaks for... one of those is individuals that are not typical and who have special needs.  You may be asking why share this or why start a blog off like this... well i feel it very pertinent right now to share what things my heart is breaking for.  To be honest, i am learning what it breaks for at this moment.

This Summer i was in Alaska and it was honestly the first time my heart broke for a certain people.  I have been to places such as Moldova, Canada, other places in the U.S., heard about kids in Africa, but Alaskans are the first people i truly believe my heart has broken for.

All this to say i see God moving in some amazing and... heart breaking ways.  Tonight i was reminded of who my heart is breaking for by watching Behind the Mask, a movie based on a true story staring Donald Sutherland and Matthew Fox.  It is about Sutherland's character coming back to his true love of helping others discovering their self worth and Fox's character being an individual with special needs and who is seeking out respect and his father.

God is breaking me in more ways then one... is he breaking you?

YAY FOR UNKNOWN FUTURE!

I JUST COMPLETED MY HUNDREDTH BLOG POST!!! I AM STINKIN PUMPED AND EXCITED! :)

WOOT WOOT!  I AM SO THANKFUL FOR ALL THE STORIES.

Well have you been here the whole time, part of the time, a second of the time... let me know, and continue to add your stories via responding to things.  We all need to connect and become a community in him and in love. :)

YAY 100TH POST!!!

Unknown Future

Well... i have no idea what my future is.  I know that is perfectly fine.  I really wouldn't like to know the end, to be honest i am not the biggest fan of spoilers. I like the initial surprise, but i do like knowing things.  I like the feeling that i know fo sho that i am doing the right thing and headed the right way, but that is not the season of life i am in right now... and like i said in the beginning that is perfectly fine.

Well recently, for a long recently, i have been reading the Bible all the way through and now i am in Psalm, and yes, there are quite a few of them. :)  I just read Psalm 37 and the verses 4-7a really stood out to me.  In this period of life i am in a time of patience and have no idea what is next.  I hate it, i want to know what to do, but instead i am in a period of waiting of not knowing.  I am in a great period of growth, rebuilding and encouragement.  I am in a period of serving and giving all i have.  I am in a period that is trying to be all i can because everything is spiritual.  I am in a period where... i am lost but Jesus knows the way, and as i rest in him it is all ok.  Even though i don't everything that i should do... i know that he is beautiful and in charge.

Psalm 37: 4-7a "Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.  Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him, and he will act.  He will bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday.  Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him;"

In reading these verses it hits me that as i follow God... i am his will.  As i delight myself in his ways, as i pursue him, he will guide me.  One thing that i realize mostly is as it says commit your way to the Lord, trust in him, HE WILL ACT.  That is so beautiful to me.  Knowing that as i seek my savior he will act in my behalf.  As i am pursuing him he will guide me and that i am not alone.  To go further it says that he will bring forth my righteousness.  We know that this means he will bring forth my faith, my trust in him because we are declared righteous by our faith in Christ. (Genesis 15: 6)  So as he brings forth my faith and trust he will grow me in those areas and help me live by more strongly by them.

I think the hardest part though is the last sentence... "Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him."  To be honest... i dont want to wait.  I don't want to sit in silence.  I want to pray and speak the whole time, i want to rush through life.  But as i go throughout this thing called a relationship with Christ, things are made so much sweeter and more beautiful as God brings things to color as i wait on him.  As i slow down and listen and just sit, God really does come through in some amazing ways.  All in all i am not the most patient person, but i know that God does some amazing things in the time of my waiting for him.  

All of this to say, i think there is still some more hidden meaning in these verses for me.  I think this verse Proverbs 19:21 - "Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails."  coupled with Psalm 37:4-7a makes a powerful cocktail of love and and Gods splendor.  To realize that God is doing some amazing things and as i wait on him and delight myself in him I AM HIS WILL.  As i sit in the silence, as i sit in beauty his plans will prevail over mine, and THANK YOU GOD FOR THAT! :)  But in this in between and time of wait, i hope to start each day as if it were on purpose.  I hope to patiently wait as God opens my ears and eyes to the joys and struggles around me.  I hope to patiently wait for strength, wisdom, and guidance for what is next in life with school, relationships, job, family... everything.

Patience: in that time the LORD's purpose will prevail because he is there with me, always by my side through everything, no matter if i don't feel him or feel things going great.  

Humbled worshiper

God is amazing!  Great way to start off a blog, i know.  He has blessed me with so many opportunities and places and people to serve and serve along side of.  I think back to my past and all the amazing opportunities and can't imagine how i have been so privileged.  I love it.  I love God.

Even though right now is a time of learning and patience for me, he is still allowing me some amazing opportunities to serve him.  I have been privileged over the past month and a half to help lead worship a few times at North Metro Church in the theater.  It has been an amazing time and God has used it to build trust, humbleness, and confidence in me and who i am.  I honestly at times doubt myself and the skills he has blessed me with but through words of affirmation he shows me his love and reminds me of the talent he has blessed me with.  I count it an honor each Sunday i get to play, no matter how short or long it may last. 

Tat's + BBQ = PC&E 25th anniversary

So my brother works for this company called PC&E and they rent out equipment for people to shoot things like commercials, videos and all sorts of other things.  My brother helps set up and prep the stages for the people who are coming to the warehouse.  Well this past Saturday PC&E had its annual party to celebrate its existence and to say thanks to all its clients.

I didn't see or notice any famous people there but it was still a blast.  One of the coolest things about this event was that the employees could invite their family and i guess close friends, so my entire family went and it was a blast.  There was cotton candy as soft and as big as clouds.  Popcorn that rivaled the theaters and best of all, little tattoo's that you could put on, so i put on a decorative one that had a heart and the word mom over the heart... I know the greatest son in the world.  

There was also these huge inflatables, one was a spongebob jumping one and the other was a great big slide.  I was the uncle climbing up the slide with nieces and nephews sliding down with them.  In fact, it was a really steep climb and so Kayle, my sisters little boy, loves these things but had trouble climbing them himself so as i trekked up this 25 foot steep hill i had him in one hand as i was helping pull myself up with the other, and when we summated the top i put him in my lap and we slid down... all for some pictures which my parents and other siblings have.

So then it came time to eat and they had Williamson's Brothers there but they also had some other people there who do BBQ and stew's for competitions and they were out of this world good.  The stew was incredible and what made it better was the ribs that complimented it.  The ribs were finger-licking good as they feel off the bones.  MMMMM MMMM.  So this night was a ton of fun and i enjoyed the time hanging out with my family.  

So when was the last time you were able to hang out with your family.  Please share your story, i know i would love to hear about it.

Mountains of fun

So Thursday i was privileged with getting to hang out with one of my favorite friends, Shannon White. (You should probably check out her blog)  Any ways, to start this whole shindig off i would just like to say i hate traffic.  Well now that i got that out of the way, lets move on.

Shannon and i met up at the QT off of Bells Ferry Rd. and so our adventure began, a little later then expected but it is because of traffic, which is dumb.  So as this adventure began i had planned it as a surprise kinda hang out deal.  I just told her what kinda clothes to wear and that was it.  So when we met at the QT she asked what we were doing and i told her the location and we headed off.  

We went to Kennesaw Mountain to look at some amazing views and get a little eat on but when we got there it was 30 minutes before the mountain trail closed so we had to change plans a little.  So we got to the top and checked out the first amazing view, but the smog and darkness of the night kinda hid some of the views like Stone Mountain.  But we got to see the ATL, what we thought was Buckhead, and Marietta among other places.  Well after we spent a little time there we went on a little walk, which is up hill and so a little strenuous for me, but she handled it like a pro.  Any who we got to the top and went to another look out and saw more of God's beautiful creation.  I mean he is amazing and pretty good at this creation stuff.

Well we stayed at that last look out for a few minutes and then remembered we had to be down the hill by 7:30 so we walked back to the car and made it down with a minute to spare.  Yes, good timing, i know.  Well the rest of the night we just drove around and talked about a ton of different things and it was just a great time to catch up and see where we were both at in life.  Well as we got back to the QT we said our goodbyes and went home.  Well she went home and i went to Echo.  So all in all it was a great night of adventure in fun.

Alaska to Tennessee to Georgia

Well while i was in Alaska i met this amazing team from Tennessee.  While i was there one of my prayers was that i would be able to bond and connect with a team in a huge way and God answered that prayer fully.  When the team got back from the the village that they had such a huge impact in we took them on a sight seeing trip and that is where i got to know them real well.  It was such an amazing time of bonding and just having a ton of fun.  I mean i talked about this team before in another blog entry in June called, What? Another late night pick up?  Well any who, i was able to trade information and cell phone numbers and i have been able to keep in contact with this team through Trey, he's a pretty cool guy.

And so two people from the team, Trey, and his brother-in-law Chris came down to a conference at First Baptist Woodstock and i met up with them for dinner.  It was an incredible time of hanging out and sharing stories.  A lot of good laughs and just an all around good time.  I loved every second of it and hope to be able to go up to Tennessee some time to visit them in their place of living.

Well here are a couple of pictures from the night. 

(Uh Oh where is Trey... behind my face is where he is.

Chris is in blue and Chris's wife Tina is behind him and 

there friend Amy is behind Trey)

(Oh There is Trey, up close and personal)

(And this is all of us)

And the lesson we have learned from the first and last pictures is this... Chili's employees need to work on photo taking.  I mean they are great and nice people, but a lack a little in the photo taking department.

He does actually answer prayers

So I went to Kennesaw Mountain today to do a little scouting and check out the old stompin grounds from the war days and i went back to this one little ledge hidden away on the right trail and just sat there for about thirty minutes and communed with God.  Had a little chat, a little one way deal, me talkin to him, for a little bit and then i just listened to God.

I have been recently distracted by something that is just so tiring.  Patience sucks but it is well worth it, just hard to stay strong with little affirmation.  And so i was just praying to God and listening to him.  But one main thing i prayed for was in relation to the complacency of my life.  I prayed that he would once again open my eyes and ears to the joys and struggles around me.

So anyway, i left that glorious view and walked back to my car... in the rainbows my brother bought me, BOO YAH! and i saw these two guys next to the lookout place i was going to and they mentioned Atlanta  and were pointing towards the wrong city... So i helped guide them, kinda like Alaska and talked to them briefly but one gentleman said he has been here five years and each time he tried to come to the top of the mountain the road to it was closed for hikers, until today.  So i told them of the great look out i had just come from, and they joked and said "Are you like a guide or something, i mean we could pay you, we have a few dollars."  We laughed, but i had to go so i said my goodbye and left.  I give myself a seven on the dismount, i feel i could have handled it better.

But all this to say that he answers prayers.  I had just prayed that my eyes and ears would be open up to the joys (Getting to the top of the mountain and going on a little hike) and struggles (being here five years and never making it to the top) of those around me.  I love God.

Collaboration of the Weekend

Well i dont know if you know this... but i love, love, LOVE the weekends.  It is a time of relaxing and just being at ease... it is wonderfully beautiful.  I mean it isn't like i am telling most of you anything new, i just wanted to throw this little opener in here.

Well my Friday night was a blast, started out with no plans, then i got a few and decided on the one where i could help my friend with the houseboat.  He got this houseboat two years ago i think and we have been fixing up little things here and there ever since.  The inside is 95% done and looks great, the outside on the other hand, not so much.  So let me tell you a story.

One of my friends commented on our buddies houseboat saying, "I really want to have a Halloween party and have it on the houseboat, i mean it isn't like we would have to change the outside because it is all ready scary enough."  So our friend, Scott Thom took that to heart.  I mean the outside of the boat isn't that bad but it could be spruced up so for the past week or so we have been fixing it up.  We painted the outside, did the trim around the windows and just about finished putting down the carpet tonight.  All of these projects have spanned a few weeks obviously but it is coming together swimmingly well.

Well Saturday as we woke up from our work night on the houseboat, my friend Luke and i met my brother at Dick's Sporting Good's and after not finding a pair of rainbows that fit, we went to look for a shirt for my brother. (haha) :)  So we went into Surftown and i saw the pair of rainbows that i thought would fit, and guess what, because of my fat feet, they didn't come close.  So we went back over to Dick's and got the first pair of rainbows that i thought could have been a little too big.  I love my brother for this belated birthday present.  So i eventually went home and rocked it out watching the movie Children of Men.  It was ok, nothing to write home about though, i mean if i didn't have this blog, i really wouldn't have mentioned it.

But Sunday... ewwww today was a blessing.  I was given the honor of playing hand percussion for North Metro for the main service upstairs in their theater.  It is a smaller and more personal venue.  But God rocked this morning.  Honestly every time i play i am constantly praying to just stop worrying about playing wrong things, or messing up, or to focus on worship not impressing others.  I mean God has blessed me greatly with this talent, and i am humbled by it.  I just get sooo nervous but God has comforted me with words of affirmation which i hold sooo soo dear, (They are one of my love languages).  Well that is all for now, I know Sunday was rushed but besides chicken and alfredo with the Thoms for lunch and then chicken and cheese quesadillas for dinner.  I am just resting peacefully, on my deck relaxing in this amazing windy and cloudy night that God has so beautifully and wonderfully made, waiting to watching Pushing Daisies with my Moo Moo.  Love that show.

Giving it ALL

Last night, there was this thing called Echo at North Metro.  (Kinda rhymed)  It is a college and 20's Bible Study on Thursday night.  The series is called NUMB3RS and it is on money and finances, your own that is.  Trust me on on this next group of words... it is interesting, well worth it and a humbling blessing.

We were posed with a question, can you give God everything?  I mean after all everything is spiritual, everything is his.  What are you doing with that other 90%.  What are you doing about debt.  Are you willing to give God your debt's, your loans?

As i left Echo tonight I prayed.  I basically said "God i find it so easy, and i find that i actually have given up family, friends, my life in some ways, but i haven't really given up money."  And as i thought about that, it dawned on me that i really hadn't actually given up anything.  Without giving up everything, i don't believe i had given up anything.  I mean sure at times i have sacrificed family, friends, and finances for him, but all in all i haven't given up everything.  I was left humbled and broken.  I am not that much into debt, but i am in debt.  I want to be out of it.  I want to be out of it in break neck speed.  I want to be free from slavery and bondage and in Gods authority.

I want to literally give everything to God.  I want to give my finances, family, friends, life, everything to him.  Yes... i am a Christ follower, but i haven't given up everything.  It is just... i don't know.  All i do know is that i desperately desire to give God my money and debts, i mean after all, everything is spiritual... right? 

Lets get real.

Today, tonight, whatever you want to say, we are going to get real.  I mean down to the nitty gritty real.  My better judgement is telling me to sensor my thoughts, considering this is going to the masses... and so because of that i am, but i will write this blog fully, then erase the parts that may be a little too graphic for all.  I mean if you want the full story, then please shoot me an email or respond in some way and i can send you the full unedited truth.  But realize this, don't read on if the truth scares you.

In this thing called taking back OUR story i am real... very real and upfront.  I just feel God gives us a sensor and at times we need to use it, out of respect for others.  So please don't take this intro as something that is against this blog and being upfront.  I want to tell the truth always and be strait-forward, but again the reason why i feel i can do some things doesn't mean others can or should do them as well.  We are all different and individual and unique.  Never lose the luster of that.  So all that to say, ask and you shall receive.  Now lets get real.

I guess this all starts back in Alaska.  As i was in Alaska, i had some amazing times with God and just growing in him.  One of my biggest fears was falling back into the complacency of where i was before i left.  I mean i had three months of a great escape into a new adventure and it was a blessing and well worth it.  But now... i am back in Georgia and it has only been two months and i have slipped right back into the traps and snares that got me before.  I hate looking back on this little bit that i have been back and seeing the lust that i am seeking after and falling into.  As i fall back into the things i hate i have no idea where this man God has been transforming me into has gone.  I hate it because as my mind is taken to a dark land of lust, the way i look at people, women, and the thoughts that encompass them, they are sometimes the furthest thing from what God desires.  These sins change the way i look at women and i despise it with everything in me.  I quite literally sat on the couch the other day and thought about it, i thought about the fear that i have fallen into.  I thought back to my greatest fear of coming back to my friends, house, and comfort zones and going back to a place where i don't want to continue to go.

You may be wondering where this is going... so let me tell you.  It is going towards love.

Did you get that?  This blog, this thought... its going towards love.  YES, LOVE!!!

While i was in Alaska, God continued to transform me from a man of hate and lust and greed, among other things, and HE continues to restore me to a man of LOVE, sacrifice, and service.  As God has continued to transform me, he has brought me to truths and showed me some amazing things.  As i fell back into my life of lust God would teach me something in the most unlikely of times.  As soon as my conscience caught up with me i would get this overwhelming feeling of Love from God.  I thought back to the scriptures that I was reading, 1 Corinthians 13, more specifically 1 Corinthians 13: 5 " Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged."  As i find myself in a place of brokenness, as i think i have failed and am worth nothing, God's love shines through all of that, and it is as if he whispers "Paul I still love you, I keep no record of any of this. I LOVE YOU."  Also, i was reading this book called Soul Cravings by Erwin McManus and then i just stopped reading it for awhile, but i have just picked it back up and started reading the first chapter... if thats what you can call it even, where i had left off and some amazing truth was brought out and shown to me.

In the book Erwin mentioned God is an unconditional lover, who pursues us with everything no matter what.  No matter how many times we reject him, he is still giving his unconditional love.  He has love for us no matter what.  His love is unconditional.  I agree with Erwin when he mentions that we find God's love so unreal and can't fathom something that is unending no matter what.  He gives the example of the woman caught in adultery in John 8: 1-11 and mentions how Jesus forgave her.  He didn't hold her sins against her, he didn't shove them right in her face.  He forgot the wrong and asked that she sin no more.  He asked that she accept his unconditional love and live her life for him.  It is such a beautiful picture of Gods unconditional love, this love i feel so often, even in my worst of times.

As I think about this love though, i desire to give that to others, i desire so much to love others unconditionally.  I desire with everything in me to pursue God with everything and love him.  But honestly i find myself pursuing people and relationships more fervently then God sometimes.  Just as in Song of Songs where the woman searches high and low for her lover, i desire to search for God like that.  I know he is looking for me like that, I also know that God is right there just waiting for me sometimes, but at times i choose the relationships i can see right in front of me.  It makes me wonder, as i pursue one other, is that right, is God allowing me this, or is it just me.  As i think about this, i remember that i may be pursuing this one girl, but more then that... my whole desire is to search and seek after God and as i do that i believe i am his will.  So all in all i think worrying about the pursuit of another is sometimes a useless worry and distraction, but at other times i think you need to check yourself and where your priorities are.  I mention all of this to ask a question of myself, but also to pose a question to you, how deep does your love for your heavenly father go.  Does it go to Sundays and Wednesdays, to an occasional Bible study, or to a song or two, or is it with your whole life.

I know i personally find myself constantly making sure that i am pursuing him above all others and that i am seeking him.  As i am on this journey, as God grows me, i find him restoring me into this man of love, sacrifice and service.  I find him restoring me to passionately lay down everything for him.  I find him restoring me and whispering his unconditional love for me... no matter what. 

Jealousy... it is a bitter green monster. :)

So I am pretty pumped about this post, it lets you know a little about my childhood... so enjoy. :)

Well last week we moved my sister into her new apartment, as some of you reading this blog will know.  So while we, the kids of our family, helped April move, the grandkids stayed with the parents and played at our house.  Well we finally got April moved in and we were all home and my nephew Vann was huffing and puffing and so my mom said she was going to help him by breaking out some new toys.  I had know idea what she was referring to but was wondering what these "new" toys were.

Well my mom brings out this plastic crate full of memories.  I looked inside the plastic... tub more then crate actually, and just reminisced for a few minutes.  I kept on finding myself just drawn to touch and fool around with these toys.  It was so cool to uncover some of these lost and forgotten toys.  I mean so many of these hold some great memories.  Most of them are from one of the greatest TV shows of all times, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and there are even some from Duck Tales... wait, not duck tales but another show with a duck and he was a super hero... if you think about it, let me know.  Any who it was a blast!  I mean it was sooo cool! My nieces had a hard time getting me away from those toys, i mean Vann and i just played for a long time with those toys.

Well enough talking about these toys, here are some pictures... try not to get jealous. :)

(Yep, you are looking pretty much all the original pieces of TMNT...

including the pizza shooting vehicle)

(This toy is amazing, called a dragon fly. They had a show.

But this toy is sitting on a dragon, you pull the dragon's tail

and it shoots the guy in the air and he FLYS DOWN!!!)

(MMMM good old TMNT movies, and yes, that is a raisin)

(The Box of Sweet Sweet Goodness and Memories)

Worrying Response

This is a response to my friends Shannon's blog, i figured this was a better place to put large amounts of texts.  So this is a response to Love-Hate Relationship.

I worry so much myself over things i can't control.  I find myself failing to the same problems and sins over and over again, and as i slip further down that hill, i become more entrenched in the muck and grime and it is harder to clean off.  Literally so hard to get rid of something that i think is coating me.  Funny thing is though, i am clean because someone took my sins away.  I know i am pure and looked at as such by my heavenly father no matter what and when i ask for forgiveness, but just because i can do something doesn't really mean i should... or should i.

Honestly that is a rhetorical question, i know it is truth that i shouldn't do something just because i can.  It is interesting to me though that as i constantly read over 1 Corinthians 13: 1-13 God shows me his truth and light.  How does this have to do with worry, because everything is spiritual and everything that i do in my life affects me and the way i think.

I have no suggestions for my friend Shannon on how to counteract these daily battles because i find myself struggling to trust God and to give over everything that i am about.  I find myself lost within myself hoping that i will find an answer about relationships, about jobs, about school about life.  I find myself not trusting and God and trying to grab on to things that don't matter and are not in my control.  Honestly the only advice that i would have is to chase and run after God with everything that you have.  As i have sought his face it has given me peace and joy.  As i have treasured the literal word of my father he has brought me wisdom and discernment, but in all of that i still find myself worrying about the future, and all these little pieces of my life i try to fit into certain places instead of God helping me be whole.  I find myself following my heart instead of God protecting it for me.

I know these thoughts are jumbled up together, but you know what, i am consumed with something that doesn't matter, that only hurts me... and that is worry.  I wish i could offer something of a little more substance but i can't.  I just trust in God and he continues to fill me up and lead me on this thing called life, and when i rest in his arms, joy... not worry consumes me.

Rest in him for he is by your side whenever you call.