Myself and I

This is the continuation of Me, the blog post.  And so let me start this all off, i am incredibly selfish.  I think about me all the time.  Everything within my small little world revolves around me and i am starting to see that now, and to be honest, it is crap.  I hate this view that i have.  I honestly want to be selfless.  I want to be a person who gives up everything.  I want to be someone who builds community, sacrifices, serves and loves others, but right now that is not the picture that i am getting of myself.

I hate being selfish, it is over rated and is against everything that i am about... which is LOVE.

1 Corinthians 13: 5 "Love does not demand its own way." (NLT)

That verse is so amazing and speaks so loudly to me.  I think of that verse and how much i fall short of actually accomplishing that verse.  I think about how much i fail to live by it.  I mean i am selfish with my family, friends, relationship with God, and even in my pursuit of that one special woman.  Everything seemingly has to be close to me or based on my schedule or for my benefit.  I mean in thinking about this idea of selfishness i know i am getting better about it as God is breaking me, but as a whole, i know God is still restoring me in to a man who sacrifices and gives his all with love.  God is restoring me into something amazing, i just don't know and can't see the finished product yet.

I want to be broken so badly of this idea of being selfish.  Of, if i can't do something right away or it doesn't fully concern me, it will be done on my time and when i feel like it.  Because of that type of mindset, i forgot to drop off my mom's lunch at school and i failed to register my friend for a class in time.  

My life is all about me... and i want to be broken of that.