There in the Hurt

I know I need You

I need to love You

I love to see You, but it's been so long

I long to feel You

I feel this need for You

And I need to hear You, is that so wrong?

Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.

Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.

Now You pull me near You

When we're close, I fear You

Still I'm afraid to tell You, all that I've done

Are You done forgiving?

Oh can You look past my pretending?

Lord, I'm so tired of defending, what I've become

What have I become?

Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.

Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.

Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.

Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.

I hear You say,

"My love is over. It's underneath.

It's inside. It's in between.

The times you doubt Me, when you can't feel.

The times that you question, 'Is this for real? '

The times you're broken.

The times that you mend.

The times that you hate Me, and the times that you bend.

Well, My love is over, it's underneath.

It's inside, it's in between.

These times you're healing, and when your heart breaks.

The times that you feel like you're falling from grace.

The times you're hurting.

The times that you heal.

The times you go hungry, and are tempted to steal.

The times of confusion, in chaos and pain.

I'm there in your sorrow, under the weight of your shame.

I'm there through your heartache.

I'm there in the storm.

My love I will keep you, by My pow'r alone.

I don't care where you fall, where you have been.

I'll never forsake you, My love never ends.

It never ends."

Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.

Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.

This song is so beautiful and such a great depiction of our heavenly father.  Just listen. Just listen. Just listen...

(Tenth Avenue North - Times)

Sad Day

Well it isn't that today is a really sad day... it is just that this weekend was a blast hanging with family.  It has grown from 2 (my parents) to 11... well 10 1/2.  One chitlen is still baking in the oven.

You still wondering why i am sad... it is because i am back to the school week, family is gone, they literally just left back to their home an hour away... i mean i loved seeing and hanging out with them because i never ever see them.  It is something that really kinda sucks.  Maybe if i prioritized my life a little different and gas wasn't something that is unheard of i would see them more often.  Well lets not dwell on the shoulding, but lets give a little 411 (info) on this weekend.

So the move yesterday went amazing.  It was one load from the old apartment to the new one.  AMAZING!!! :)  All in all a four hour or less experience.  My sis and bro (Conrad... her husband) had a few people from church help clean up their apartment and a couple to help us move.  It was amazing, quick, and... fun?  My favorite part is that Conrad had said getting to their new apartment with all the stuff wouldn't be that hard, only one exit from where they were, but the best part was they were on the ground level... so five stairs to climb and five stairs to descend.  Well when we get to the apartment, after passing lines of ridiculous traffic for gas, we saw that their was 8 stairs to ascend, we made it only 3 though, but there was about 25 stairs to descend.  Nice surprise. :).  But it was all good.  Well we eventually went home and partied like it was 1999 and just celebrated the move, and i gave away my Alaska presents... just so stinkin glorious.

I had so much fun and then i was blessed to help lead worship for the theater of North Metro... they have two services, one in the main "sanctuary" and one upstairs.  The upstairs one is more intimate i think.  But it was awesome, God just continually breaks me and molds me. What an honor.  I love worship, and i love ministry.  I hope to be doing that later in life.

Well back to the sadness.  I am just sad my family is gone.  Went back to the apartment, played on the playground, came home, played some more... ate things... hmmmm. Just sad. 

My mind is blank, i will go fill it with other things.  Love you all. ;) 

(Oh and as you see, no pictures of the move, but go check out my facebook profile picture, and i have two more post... one is expected and the other is just glorious, be prepared to be jealous)

:)

Anticipation is killing

Anyone like moving... anyone?  I know i do when it involves people who don't have tons and tons of junk.

I bring this up because my Sister and her hubby, along with the bun in the oven and the oh so cutie batooie nephew of mine are moving to a new and slightly bigger apartment.  I am not looking forward to moving a washer and drier and all of the heavy items, especially with my oh so good and non-hurting left leg. (Sarcasm anyone)  But besides not looking forward to moving the big and heavy items, i am excited that my sis and her husband have boxed up everything and have been moving little loads by little loads to the other apartment for a little over a week now.

I am pretty pumped about all that. :)

So besides getting family and friends together to help move... i am soooo looking forward to spending time with the whole family together.  I can not express the joy that i am having looking forward to hanging out with my nieces and nephews and with my brother and sister that lives over an hour away.    I mean some guitar hero will be had, some good food grilled up, and some fun times to add to the memory banks.

Hopefully some pictures will be added, if i take any, and as you may have noticed, it just kinda slips my mind.  I love pictures though, makes everything all pretty.

One last reason i am excited is because the family (dogs included) will be getting some presents.  I was fortunate enough to get some real Alaskan souvenirs... YAY!!! and so this weekend is also a representation of my mission trip coming that much more to a close... all though there is still a few surprises left.  Also, when i say my mission trip is coming to an end... i just mean this chapter of Alaska, i don't mean i am going to stop serving others and i don't mean by any means of the imagination that i wont go back.  In fact i have been going to this great college / 20's/ ministry at North Metro called Echo.  I am so excited that the college pastor Rob McDowell, listened and truly followed God with every way possible.  We started this series called 52 days and talked about Nehemiah and the rebuilding of the wall around Jerusalem in 52 days.  Long story short, asking God to crush our hearts for a BHAG (Big Hairy Audacious Goal).

Last night, Thursday, God was crushing my heart for something.  I don't know what.  I know i have ideas and plans for what i want education wise, job wise, relationship wise, but honestly these ideas mean nothing.  They are fun and i love dreaming, but i know as i pursue God, i am HIS WILL.  I love that, as i pursue my heavenly father, i am his will.  But last night God was breaking me to serve, where... no clue, God was breaking me to love, who... i couldn't give you a specific, but i know that He is breaking me to be a man of Love and Service.  I know he is giving me a BHAG and i know he is leading me somewhere, and even though i dont know the ending location... and i am ok with that because i know that I am His will.

No clue about the future, just ideas and dreams, just... family and fun. 

By Myself Alone

Why are you striving these days

Why are you trying to earn grace

Why are you crying

Let me lift up your face

Just don't turn away

Why are you looking for love

Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough

To where will you go child

Tell me where will you run

To where will you run

And I'll be by your side

Wherever you fall

In the dead of night

Whenever you call

And please don't fight

These hands that are holding you

My hands are holding you

Look at these hands and my side

They swallowed the grave on that night

When I drank the world's sin

So I could carry you in

And give you life

I want to give you life

(Chorus 2x)

Cause I, I love you

I want you to know

That I, I love you

I'll never let you go

(Chorus 2x)

So if you were to look at these lyrics you would see the title is not necessarily fitting... or is it?  The titles for these past few blogs has been more of a reflection of the state I am personally in and how these songs have met me, and how God has used these lyrics and these notes to speak love, joy, rest, peace, sacrifice into my life.

But i want you to focus on these two lines:

Why are you looking for love

Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough  

How beautiful and reflective this is of my life as i am searching for love in so many different places.  Searching for it from myself, from others such as family and friends. It is interesting that no matter the person, the activity, the joy and the love that it brings is so fleeting and means nothing compared to the Love that MY FATHER has for ME! :)   There is freedom in letting go, i have experienced it and it is so... relieving.  It is so relaxing to give God your relationships, especially ones that would involve pursuits.  God is my number one and always will be.  For as i pursue him, i hope and pray that he places the pieces of my life where they need to be.

But listen and fall in love with the savior.  Listen to this beauty.

(Tenth Avenue North - By Your Side)

Wellspring

Come to the waters, you who thirst and you'll thirst no more. 

Come to the father, you who work and you'll work no more. 

And all you who labor in vain and to the broken and shamed: 

Love is here. 

Love is now. 

Love is pouring from 

His hands, from his brows. 

Love is near, it satisfies. 

Streams of mercy flowing from his side. 

Cuz love is here. 

Come to the treasure, you who search and you'll search no more. 

Come to the lover you who want and you'll want no more, no. 

And all you who labor in vain and to the broken and shamed, 

Yeah: 

Love is here. 

Love is now. 

Love is pouring from his hands, from his brows. 

Love is near, it satisfies. 

Streams of mercy flowing from his side. 

Yeah 

And to the bruised and fallen, 

Captives, bound, and broken hearted. 

He is the lord 

He is the lord, 

Yeah 

By his stripes he's paid our ransom 

From his wounds we drink salvation 

He is the lord 

He is the lord 

Love is here. 

Love is now. 

Love is pouring from his hands, from his brows. 

Love is near, 

It satisfies. 

Streams of mercy flowing from his side. 

Streams of mercy flowing from his side. 

Cuz love is here 

Love is here.

I love these lyrics because it really tells how God is more then enough.  He can meet us wherever we are, and i have seen Him meet little old me this week in some amazing ways.  Mmmm i can't wait for later this week.  Ewww so much more.

But this song is amazing and this is the beginning of three.

(Tenth Avenue North - Love Is Here)

Oh and watch this video, watch the people.  I think the response of them is so unique ewww and there is this one guy, see if you spot him.  Lets play a little Where's Waldo, and now you may be saying Paul who am i looking for... well think about who i am, and you will find him.  Well peace out and enjoy.

(well i will be back to add the video, until then, click this link... link)

Broken

I used to live my life in fear

Was worried all the time

From waking up to laying down

I had no peace of mind

The world became a darkened place

A struggle without end

Although bitter times those were

The days that I had began to understand

I was only a man

I grew up singing songs in church

With questions in my mind

Then turned my back and ran away

From God who gave me life

Then one night his presence fell

I wept and shook and then

I fell down and cried, Dear Jesus, rescue me again

I understand I am only a man

And He said, What will it be now?

Will you choose me or keep swimming up stream now?

I've been inside your head hearing you scream out.

Well here I am, just take my hand and I'll take out 

All of the pain and all of the fear

All of the fear

I'll give you my burdens (I'll give you peace)

All of my desires (I'll give you what you need)

Oh, what about these chains, Lord? (I'll set you free)

But they're so heavy (Lay them at my feet)

I'll lay them at your feet

Just promise you won't leave (I'll never leave)

So where do I go from here, Lord? (Just follow me)

(Just follow me)

I'll follow you (Just follow me) wherever you lead

Wherever you lead, wherever you lead

So this last part you are looking about is Jonny in essence praying or talking to God and Him answering his questions or his prayers.

To me this is huge and beautiful and is very descriptive of where i am in life.  I may add more but right now... just read and sulk in its beauty.

(Jonny Lang - Only a Man)

Week of music

Well i am just going to give you a little heads up... this week and the posts that will be, well posted, will be songs that are really impactfull to me this week and this period of life that i am in right now.

God is bringing me to a new point in brokenness, and God is bringing me and my heart to a new point of understanding and preparedness for the future.  So anyway you will see some songs being posted, and depending on the mood i am in you may have an explanation of why i posted these songs or you may see posted certain parts of the song that are unreal to me.  But i was thinking about the posts that i could do, and to me, i was thinking i would love for these songs to do ministry for you as well, so in light of that mindset i may not interpret these songs for you, i may just let you read the lyrics and decide what they mean for you.  I mean if you want to know what i am thinking, please just ask and i will gladly tell you.

Well hope you enjoy this week because you will have one or two special gust artists but right now i see one of those special guest artists... hahah a  song for fun that is... one song from Mr. Jonny Lang, and three from an amazing band which you need to go to iTunes right now and download their album, and that band is Tenth Avenue North and their album Over and Underneath (plus you get a free video with it... yay. great video!)

Fun in the mornin

Well usually on Friday mornings this thing called FCA (Fellowship of Christian Athletes) happens and me and a couple of my friends lead worship for schools around where we live.  We mostly do High Schools but on occasion we do Middle Schools.  Also we have been known to do our own things at these FCA's and not travel as a group.  But that is neither here nor there for this story.

Oh Kennesaw Mountain High School, what a glorious FCA.  This whole situation is rather humorous.  So last night, Thursday, i spent the night at old Rob Greene's house so i could save gas and sleep in a little extra longer before we would leave to go and worship.  So we wake up, arrive pretty much right on time and we notice something a little different.  Mind you i have a nice little pimp walk going on and i went down to just carrying my djimbe.  Anywho, there is a small... very small toy like keyboard up front and so i had no idea what to think, i thought they were just going to give us some extra pizzaz or something, Rob thought it was for a skit.

So we get down to the front and the coach in charge of all this looks kinda shocked, and goes mentions the fact that they didn't know we were scheduled to play and that he actually had a student lined up.  Boom... Crazy... So we all just kinda laugh it up and the coach mentions he will bring us back, but it is just funny that a student that goes there, who wasn't really supposed to be leading worship just kept on keeping on.  Which is way ok, just kinda funny.

So now you are thinking maybe we just got our stuff all mixed up, mmm not so much.  We have a friend who is a part of the leadership for that FCA, maybe even the president, not sure, any way he is the one who called us to play.  So we walked out to the parking lot and did a little prank call to see if he knew what was going on.  Rob called and sounded all sleepy like and said that we just woke up so we would be late, and this friend of ours was great, he believed it, he said they usually have a guy who brings his guitar and they would just let him do a song or two before everything got kicked off.  So after we had him going for a few minutes we let him know what was up and he apologized but all that to say... way to start your morning.  Andrew who had to drive 30 minutes, just drove to say good morning... what a good friend.

I think this is humorous, you have any funny Friday stories?

Oh It's coming

I like outdoorsy activities like climbing kayaking, and other such things... you know, outdoorsy activities.  I like to wrestle and play around with fighting and such and tonight... the start of something great was decided.

A friend and I are going to box, it is going to be good fun and gloves will be bought, wars will be fought, (not really) and it will be fun... hopefully for both parties.

Now don't think we are trying to cut up beef and grill it because we have no problems with each other, this is all in good fighting fun.

So all i have left to say is... get ready... for

FIGHT NIGHT 08!!!

Little Left Leg

Well this past Sunday i got jacked up playing some flag football in Eastside Baptists Church's gym.

This statement won't come as news if you have been following me on twitter or i have talked to you about it, but man, it still hurts.

It is weird, my muscles seem constantly tight and it also feels as if my shin is about to crack in half down the whole bone.  So now i walk around with a nice little pimp walk, kidding kidding, it is really kinda goofy.

I just thought you should know what i am feeling and going through right now, so throw up them prayers if you want, but i also just want to say that i don't think pain pills work.  I still have yet to take one that actually did anything. 

Well other then that i am doing pretty good, got the Shogun Runs, not really, but you know.  Aside from that though, school is going pretty good, i am excited about it.  Well off to a class, just had a little break, so peace out and A-Town Down.

Ignite Fall 08

This was the best ignite for me so far.  For those of you who are wondering what ignite is, it is a weekend of training the new leaders that we interviewed and accepted. What interviews, what are you accepting?  Well great questions.  I am a part of this ministry called S.W.A.T (Students With A Testimony) Ministry.  Pretty sure i have mentioned them in a previous blog, but just for those who just started reading this blog or whatever... it is a ministry that travels around the South East doing weekend events for churches.

So without going into to much more detail now, we got to train our newest leaders, give them that T-Shirt they have been dreaming about for years and a handy little duffle bag... be jealous :)

But for serious, We go through the weekend just like we would a normal SWAT weekend, well a little different, we want to train them and answer any questions on how to lead.  We also go over SWAT protocol and all that fun stuff.

But something that God has been growing in me is community and building relationships and so on the way down there i asked a few friends to pray for the weekend but i prayed myself that God would build relationships and just rock our world with some amazing connections.  And God rocked my prayer out of the water.  I feel this is the first time that i was at this weekend and really connected with all the new leaders.  I knew all the guys names, and most of the girls, but God just rocked our world as a ministry.  He allowed 32 people to come in and be a part of this amazing family and they are an amazing caliber of leader.  

The first night we were there God just rocked our world and we (the guys) had a session and everyone just opened up and shared their story of where they were at the time and with those stories God ministered to each and everyone of us.

Then Jesse and I took rec to a whole new level never before reached.  God allowed us some crazy creativity and we rocked it out.  Both girl groups and the guy groups came to rec pumped up and excited and with a theme.  We also had a spirit flag for them to win... and one step more, Jesse and I dressed up as the jokers, pictures to come later, after people post them on facebook) and it was scary, nasty, crazy amazing.  God is truly amazing and as we continued the weekend we did Maneuvers which can be taken as a parable of life... amazing and very thought provoking and insightful.  

Well as our day winded down we hung out at Jon's house, tailgated, watched the game and then went into an amazing time of worship and then one more session.  Throughout this whole weekend it was amazing and unreal to see God bring so many different people together to fight for each other.  How beautiful his love, how beautiful our new family.

Marvelous Monday

Well Monday all started on Sunday... you know the little B & B.  Baptism and a barbecue.   Mikey and I, all clad in our swim wear were walking down to the lake to go swimming and Mrs. Thom said don't take the boat out for too long, we want to let the girls and others use it.

This comment completely caught us off guard because we have never been on the boat, by ourselves without a Thom present.  So we looked shocked and responded that we were just going to go to the double decker.  So as Mikey and I swam and jumped and played gleefully in the lake we discussed this incident of Mrs. Thom's comment, and so we got the bright idea of asking if we could use the boat Monday, you know... pay for some gas and go out on the lake and crush some ice (the term that wake-boarders use in referencing gong wake-boarding.)

So as Mr. and Mrs. Thom were in the same room i said "what if some responsible young gentleman wanted to use the boat tomorrow and put a little gas in it, would they be able to?"  And long story short of this, they said yes.  So the Monday adventure begins.

Not there there is really too much more to say.

But Mikey, Zach and I met at the Thom's house around 11:00 and rocked out some mad wake-boarding for an entire day of fun.  Later Luke joined us for some amazing times.  All the guys except me wake-skated and wake-boarded.  It is a sad day, i still have yet to actually get up, but i love just being out on the lake, and the second round of trying for me was a great progress i think.  I got up for one brief second and then was pulled forward.  Still a little sad about not being able to wake board, but i am thrilled to just be out on the lake and see those guys crush some ice.  Plus a momentous occasion of using the boat by ourselves happened.

So... what were you doing on Monday?

A little B and B

No, not a little bed and breakfast, but a little Baptism and a Barbecue.  well not really a barbecue, i mean we grilled out and had some chicken alfredo, but the word barbecue not only fits but sounds better. Plus it is a little something i first saw and experienced in Canada.

Well Connor Thom... Scott Thom's younger brother decided to get baptized, and since Connor and his parents now go to North Metro, i got to experience a little of that, and it was unreal.  I loved every second of it.  It was an entire service dedicated to Baptism's, there were 39 Baptisms that day split over two services.

One of the staff members came out on stage and he was basically the MC, haha, of the morning.  It was good and not crazy, he really added to it by starting off and telling about Baptism and why it was done according to back in the day.  People would come to the water, a river or lake, and the community apart of that persons life would gather around the individual and they would be baptized to represent them following their rabbi.  I never knew that until this Sunday, i mean i knew why we baptized people but never knew it wasn't something created by Jesus or really for him.  But i only heard and haven't checked up on it, but it makes complete sense. (click on the word heard and read Mac's blog on September 2, 2008 called He tells me I'm a believer...)

But as the Baptisms got rolling they showed a video that briefly explained how this individual got to this point and why that was going on, people from the congregation who had an impact or dealing or influence with this person being baptized would walk to the front and stand outside the baptismal tub.  Also it didn't matter if you were a guy, or a girl, parent or preacher, you could baptize your own son.  I know that isn't the best description but usually pastors only baptize and it isn't as if a random person is baptizing them, the person baptizing them has had a significant impact in their life... it just doesn't matter about gender or ministry spot.

But the whole service was beautiful and brought tears to my eyes and as it ended the lead pastor said an amazing phrase, "That this service is the best gospel presentation, seeing people following after Christ."  It was something close to that. :)

Well after we came from the church we all went to the Thom's house which is conveniently on lake Altoona and we had the barbecue where we ate tons of good food, had fabulous conversations, played some fun games like DORK Ball, and were able to do a little double decker jumping and boat riding.  It was a grand and fun occasion.

So proud of you Connor Thom.

Friday Fun

Well hello everyone!!! I am back to write... yay, and if you read the blog right before this and even the one a couple before that one you will see that there is many things that have happened and many things to come such as pictures... some of them that will blow your MIND!   I mean one of these things looks like it is strait out of the Chronicles of Narnia, i know... you are getting excited aren't you.  Yes, yes... admit it.

Well here we go, i love the fact that God has called me to ministry but not just in one form or fashion, but in multiple ways from speaking, to leading worship, to traveling 3000 miles away to honestly anything.  I will go where he sends me. Pretty dangerous statement but i mean it with everything in me.  So I love that school has started back up, not only because i get the joy of doing work that i love so much but because FCA (Fellowship of Christian Athletes - a school-wide Bible study that anyone can attend) has started back up.  This whole month is filled with opportunities to speak and lead worship to glorify God.

This past Friday i went to Lost Mountain Middle School with Andrew Walden, and Mark Henry, the lead teaching pastor at North Metro, spoke.  it is always a fun and rockin time.  Very encouraging.  

Last time i was there Mark Henry said an encouraging word to andrew about me and my hand percussion playing, to the gist of we need him to play sometime for one of our Sunday services.  I was incredibly honored and humbled and so this time around that thought was rekindled by myself and it started to kill my servant spirit.  This attitude of showing off was put in my life.  I prayed against it and simple yet beautiful beats came out.  I say this experience just to mention that my desire is to be more like Christ, humble in everything i do, yet living passionately and fervently to pursue his kingdom with everything i am.  So as i started my morning with a little pride issue, God counteracted that and blessed me. 

Also, along with that, something that i have talked to Jon Messarra about is not caring about who i know or necessarily the supposive  bigness of what i do.  Meaning not worrying about the talent or stars i know, but being a real, down to earth person constantly building relationships.

And so now after i had that eventful Friday morning i honestly forget what happened in the middle of the day but by the end of it, it meant that i was traveling to one of my favorite places to escape to... my friends cabin right off of the Chattahhoche River right below Helen.  It is such an amazing place to go to, to raft down, swim in, discover beauty and hidden waterfalls and rope swings... I love it, it is a surprise every time.

But we loaded up my canoe on my car, and caravanned to the cabin with Justin and his mom and dad in their car and me and my brother Mike in mine.  So we eventually got there and everyone else finally arrived by 2:00 in the morning.  Woo was greeting the last comers kinda a scary story... you will have to ask for the story, but hey, it means we get to talk later so good deal huh?  But as everyone was there and after meeting some of Justin's college friends who were way way nice we hung out for a little but then went to bed.  But all of the "family" not Justin's parents, but all the older friends ended up sleeping in the same room and what a fun fun time.  Full of laughs and good stories.  I loved getting back with the family.

So as we woke up the next day we ended up playing on the river, getting a quick snack and then spent five hours kayaking, tubing, canoeing, swinging, getting bumped and bruised down the river.  It was fun, it was... surreal.   It was just a glorious time with old and new friends.  But as we loaded back up at the take out we went home, had the most amazing barbecue, burgers that were to die for and corn on the cobb, among a few other items.   So as we finished up dinner we had some amazing stories and shared some fun stories that Justin was involved with.  Over all an amazing and incredible weekend.  So as me and mike left late Saturday night, we tied the canoe back on and shot down back to our home. 

On the way back though we made an unplanned stop at the golden arches for a few reasons, one of them being we wanted some chocolate shakes, and so that i could have something to help me stay awake.  hahah... hmmm sneaky sneaky.  Well as Saturday comes to a close, so does this segment of my weekend.  Just a little more to go, tune in later today for a little something something.  Boo Yah!

Tomorrow

Tomorrow will be the day that you get an update of all the cool things going on... today is finished and i am just sooooo tired.  Sorry, there is a lot of things that have happened from:

leading worship at an FCA,

playing in a river,

witnessing the most beautiful baptism service to...

spending an entire Monday on the lake... trying to wake-board but failing... but making some stride! :)  (and yes i meant what i spelt)

Little Bitty Update

Well i have this little bit of information for you avid blog readers... and that is i am going to my friends cabin this weekend, well a bunch of us are really and we are going to have a going away party for him because he is studying abroad in France for architecture for Georgia Tech.

So all that to say besides one post that i may... key word being may, and not the month, put on the blog tonight, you can expect me to be out like a trout and not touch this stupid computer for a little.  I mean i like it but i can't wait to be away for a little with friends. Oh the beauty of relationships.  :)

Out There

If it's to be

That there's just no one for me

I'll try not to cry much

So no one will see

But if it's to be

That there is anyone for me

Our hearts will shine

So everyone will see

I've got some time,

So maybe if you're free

I could use a friend

Just to talk to me

If she's out there somewhere-somewhere

I would give everything to know.

Just to hold and to finally have her,

Take me to sunrise from indigo

Spent most of my life without

Anyone near

Never cared what happened

I never saw clear

But I'm getting older now

And I'm, thinking of my end

And to leave without love

Or without a friend

Well it's getting late

And maybe if I tried

I could find one

Before I die

If she's out there somewhere-somewhere

I would give everything to know.

Just to hold and to finally have her,

Take me to sunrise from indigo

It's not over,

It Im alive

But alone denied

But I'm still standing

It's not over, 

It Im alive

But alone denied

But I'm still standing

If it's to be

That there's just no one for me

I'll try not to cry much

So no one will see

I've got some time

So maybe if you're free

I could use a friend

Just to talk to me

If she's out there somewhere-somewhere

I would give everything to know.

Just to hold and to finally have her,

Take me to sunrise from indigo

If she's out there somewhere-somewhere

I would give everything to know.

Just to hold and to finally have her,

Take me to sunrise from indigo

This song is called... you got it, Out There, by Sister Hazel.  Hmmm this seems a little different then what i was reading yesterday... correct, because it is.  I mean it could be different then what you were reading this morning as well, which ever.

But this song is such a huge representation of where I am in life.  Oh Paul, you will find a wife, yadda yadda yadda.  Yah i am going a little deeper then that.  Right now i am in a place of odd contentment.  I am enjoying this place because i know it is where God has me in this moment of life... but it is weird.  It is not how i think i should feel at this point. (Just to let you know that i just edited during the edit, you all may get the full blog later but now... it isn't the time.)

To add on to this, i love the line in the beginning where it says "that there is anyone for me, our hearts will shine, so everyone will see."  That line is beautiful.  God combining my heart, and my plans with someone else's so that we shine for him in unison.  This song is so good.  Right now i am loving His company and am excited to see where he leads me.  Well my thoughts... they are staying in my mind, i just cant think of what else to put and say... just know that i find this song beautiful and it is partly depicting where i am right now.  

Dawn of a new Blog

Well as i sit here, eyes strained because i no longer have my glasses on my head and with retainer in mouth, i am excited to say that i think there may be a new wind coming.  As you know i gave platelets this morning but not before spending some time with my favorite person ever, you know the big G-O-D!   Well i took an amazing nap which i was woken up by a phone call from my big little sister... you know what i mean. It's not like I am calling her fat, all though she does have a baby on the way (YAY!)  I say that because she is older then me but smaller in stature and such.

Well eventually Luke called and we ended having lunch in a whole new place, The California Pizza Kitchen.  What a heavenly place.  We had a half and half, the Carne Asada and a Buffalo Pizza. It was great all the way from the pizza, to the server which shares the name of probably the coolest little girl cat in town... Shannon (go check out her blog)  Eww how i love Psych.  Any who and the desert which was this banana chocolate moose cake thing.  Oh soo soo good.  Man i wish i had a camera.

Well as we were eating i had mentioned that i had a blog to Luke, not really that i had one per say but that i had written something on it, and he had no idea i had one.  So i told him why i had it and he said that we should start one of our little adventures to restaurants and movies and other fun activities.  Almost like a Monday's Menu (hint hint, kinda where i am stealing this idea from but not entirely because Luke thought of it.)  But we are trying to think of a cool blog name so let us know of some names.  We have an idea or two rolling around but we are not sure. 

Well after that we went to his house and watched A Good Year with the old Crowester in it.  Pretty good, i really enjoyed it actually.  And then i watched the premiere of Prison Break, SOOOO GOOD.  I love Link the Sink.

Then we went to the Tap of Suburban and played Trivia and then i won four doll hairs for "playing my cards right."

Ahh i love how i started out long paced in writing about the events and then quickened it up.  I honestly only planned to caption each event with a few words but you know how that goes.

One last thing, God is teaching me about patience and being content in where he has me.  It is weird though, i like it but... i dont know there is just something strange.  Well peace out and A-Town Down. :)

Tasty Platelets

mmmm mmmm... This morning i woke up at six so i could go give me some platelets. I am pretty sure in a previous blog i posted my reason for going, but quick over-view, to save lives because at the time i couldn't give to save another.

Deep wasn't it?

But so this morning i gave platelets at 7:15 a.m.  For those of you who don't know what those little things are, well they are the shtuff that dreams are made of, because without them flowing with your red blood cells, when you got cut or shanked, and i don't mean the pants pulled down but i use it in the way prison people use it... i feel it is more meaningful.  haha, oh Zoolander.  But for serious, these are the particles that flow within that red stuff that makes your blood clot.  So platelets keep you from bleeding more then you really need to, and today i gave to counts of platelets... yay.

While giving these potentially life saving things i watched No Country For Old Men, i mean i couldn't really here all that they were saying, some parts of it were good, but over all i think the ending was not so great, kinda just happened.  Maybe i will see it another time and like it more, anyone want to join me?  Oh and yes, you get this little bonus of watching T.V. or a movie while giving platelets because the process is quite long.  They stick a needle in your arm which i hate hate hate... then as this big machine sucks out your blood it strains, or separates out your platelets from your blood cells.  Pretty cool, it took an hour and a half of my time this morning, i think a little longer, but who knows.  Sarah the American Red Cross lady who was my... technician... this morning does. Any who so as it separates the platelets from the blood cells it flows all my blood back into my body, minus some platelets.  :)  Oh and the bag that the platelets goes into just looks like it is full of urine.  I know a little graphic, but i thought i would just share this whole experience with you... and so, here are even more pictures!

Wait wait wait, what does this mean, that is right, i have a camera, i took a few pictures of the whole after affect of my little arm at the house. I mean nothing big but i thought it was worth some pictures, plus i think one is very artsy.  And me having this camera and uploading pictures means one more thing... can you guess what it is, find out next one or two or three blogs. :)

(Yay artsy one!)

Oh John

Hancock that is...

(Yay for a picture finally, even if it isn't mine)

So instead of getting wings with Scott and the others i went out to the doll hair theater with Justin and it was a great time.  We saw... you guessed it, Hancock and it was pretty good i say.  I know some of you may be thinking i didn't enjoy it or, ewww ewwww i really enjoyed it.  But as for me, i thought it was pretty good and funny as well. Plus Jason Bateman is fantastic in the movie, and his son, what a cutie.

But forserious the movie was funny and it was great especially for half off Tuesdays at the dollar theater. Boo yah baby 75 centalones.  I know that is more then a dollar but they raised prices awhile back.  Well that is all i have for this blog.  I just wanted to put something up for you kiddies.  Plus i think it is good just to have fun and hang out with friends before they leave for eight months.  So good day my good people. 

Great Memory Day

I am a little sad that i missed out on Chick-Fil-A's offer of wearing a college football team shirt and getting three free chicken strips, but it is all gravy.

I did on the other hand spend an entire day out on the lake which was pretty amazing... and just like in true Paul form there are no pictures to commemorate the occasion.  (But good news out there to all you crazy bloggers that are keeping tabs on me, i will be posting some pictures from this Summer, and they will be amazing)  So today started off with a little bacon and some pancakes.  Oh how i love bacon, it is soooo good, especially when you add a little syrup to it.  Any who it started off very nicely and then we went tubing for a few hours which was unreal.  There is a 4 person tube called Big Mable... and let me tell you what, Mable is one fine lady packed with a bunch of fun.  She is very stable and you can move all up and down and because of her large size, she makes it easy for you to stay on during the many turns that the driver may want to put you through.

Most of the time it was just so painful on the arms holding on so long and as it kinda rubbed your knees, elbows and little toesies raw, but it was well worth the pain it might have caused, especially when you can do a back flip off this thing.  But during some of these mad dashes across the lake i would try and Gladiate Scott Thom off the tub and he would stay on as i flew off into the lake... darn him.  But today was fantastic, just left me with a great lunch, fun day, sloppy finish and a little weird motion deal even as i write all this to you now.  

Well folks, peace out and A-Town Down.