Oh da Baby

So October 2, 2008 at about 1:30 p.m. my mom calls me and tells me to get the camera ready for her because my sister went in for an appointment and said the baby was a comin out, so they induced her.

So i went to my classes since i had a project due in my last class and longingly waited to get to my intercultural communication class ( a first i might at) and present, turn in the paper, and dip out.  So i finally got to my class presented and rocked it out.

So as i called my mom to rush to the hospital i found out i was about to head to the wrong one, and that my sister wasn't probably going to have the baby for a few more hours... oh and this is about 5:20 p.m. My sister never has babies that quickly.  But anywho i feed the dogs, get some burgers... sad day McDonalds raised the double cheeseburger 19 cents. I mean fo real?  So i got to the hospital and found out she was at 5 centimeters. A few hours later and a miracle happens, but no one comes out and tells us until about 20 to 30 minutes after.

But there was a little complication after the birth with April so they had to do some minor surgery and they sent up the new little baby up to the nursery.  And here are the pictures.

(This is a clock outside the nursery we probably 

arrived about ten minutes before i took this picture)

Yep that little ray of sunshine you cant see... thats her)

(And there)

(And that is as close as we got after waiting pretty

much an hour, slightly saddened... a lot saddened actually)

So this is a picture of a girl they placed right next 

to the window, even though she is a little whiter then

RYLYNN ROSE (The name of my beautiful baby niece)

i wanted to get a picture close up of a baby.

So here is a picture of a random girl... YAY!!!

There in the Hurt

I know I need You

I need to love You

I love to see You, but it's been so long

I long to feel You

I feel this need for You

And I need to hear You, is that so wrong?

Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.

Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.

Now You pull me near You

When we're close, I fear You

Still I'm afraid to tell You, all that I've done

Are You done forgiving?

Oh can You look past my pretending?

Lord, I'm so tired of defending, what I've become

What have I become?

Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.

Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.

Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.

Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.

I hear You say,

"My love is over. It's underneath.

It's inside. It's in between.

The times you doubt Me, when you can't feel.

The times that you question, 'Is this for real? '

The times you're broken.

The times that you mend.

The times that you hate Me, and the times that you bend.

Well, My love is over, it's underneath.

It's inside, it's in between.

These times you're healing, and when your heart breaks.

The times that you feel like you're falling from grace.

The times you're hurting.

The times that you heal.

The times you go hungry, and are tempted to steal.

The times of confusion, in chaos and pain.

I'm there in your sorrow, under the weight of your shame.

I'm there through your heartache.

I'm there in the storm.

My love I will keep you, by My pow'r alone.

I don't care where you fall, where you have been.

I'll never forsake you, My love never ends.

It never ends."

Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.

Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.

This song is so beautiful and such a great depiction of our heavenly father.  Just listen. Just listen. Just listen...

(Tenth Avenue North - Times)

Sad Day

Well it isn't that today is a really sad day... it is just that this weekend was a blast hanging with family.  It has grown from 2 (my parents) to 11... well 10 1/2.  One chitlen is still baking in the oven.

You still wondering why i am sad... it is because i am back to the school week, family is gone, they literally just left back to their home an hour away... i mean i loved seeing and hanging out with them because i never ever see them.  It is something that really kinda sucks.  Maybe if i prioritized my life a little different and gas wasn't something that is unheard of i would see them more often.  Well lets not dwell on the shoulding, but lets give a little 411 (info) on this weekend.

So the move yesterday went amazing.  It was one load from the old apartment to the new one.  AMAZING!!! :)  All in all a four hour or less experience.  My sis and bro (Conrad... her husband) had a few people from church help clean up their apartment and a couple to help us move.  It was amazing, quick, and... fun?  My favorite part is that Conrad had said getting to their new apartment with all the stuff wouldn't be that hard, only one exit from where they were, but the best part was they were on the ground level... so five stairs to climb and five stairs to descend.  Well when we get to the apartment, after passing lines of ridiculous traffic for gas, we saw that their was 8 stairs to ascend, we made it only 3 though, but there was about 25 stairs to descend.  Nice surprise. :).  But it was all good.  Well we eventually went home and partied like it was 1999 and just celebrated the move, and i gave away my Alaska presents... just so stinkin glorious.

I had so much fun and then i was blessed to help lead worship for the theater of North Metro... they have two services, one in the main "sanctuary" and one upstairs.  The upstairs one is more intimate i think.  But it was awesome, God just continually breaks me and molds me. What an honor.  I love worship, and i love ministry.  I hope to be doing that later in life.

Well back to the sadness.  I am just sad my family is gone.  Went back to the apartment, played on the playground, came home, played some more... ate things... hmmmm. Just sad. 

My mind is blank, i will go fill it with other things.  Love you all. ;) 

(Oh and as you see, no pictures of the move, but go check out my facebook profile picture, and i have two more post... one is expected and the other is just glorious, be prepared to be jealous)

:)

Anticipation is killing

Anyone like moving... anyone?  I know i do when it involves people who don't have tons and tons of junk.

I bring this up because my Sister and her hubby, along with the bun in the oven and the oh so cutie batooie nephew of mine are moving to a new and slightly bigger apartment.  I am not looking forward to moving a washer and drier and all of the heavy items, especially with my oh so good and non-hurting left leg. (Sarcasm anyone)  But besides not looking forward to moving the big and heavy items, i am excited that my sis and her husband have boxed up everything and have been moving little loads by little loads to the other apartment for a little over a week now.

I am pretty pumped about all that. :)

So besides getting family and friends together to help move... i am soooo looking forward to spending time with the whole family together.  I can not express the joy that i am having looking forward to hanging out with my nieces and nephews and with my brother and sister that lives over an hour away.    I mean some guitar hero will be had, some good food grilled up, and some fun times to add to the memory banks.

Hopefully some pictures will be added, if i take any, and as you may have noticed, it just kinda slips my mind.  I love pictures though, makes everything all pretty.

One last reason i am excited is because the family (dogs included) will be getting some presents.  I was fortunate enough to get some real Alaskan souvenirs... YAY!!! and so this weekend is also a representation of my mission trip coming that much more to a close... all though there is still a few surprises left.  Also, when i say my mission trip is coming to an end... i just mean this chapter of Alaska, i don't mean i am going to stop serving others and i don't mean by any means of the imagination that i wont go back.  In fact i have been going to this great college / 20's/ ministry at North Metro called Echo.  I am so excited that the college pastor Rob McDowell, listened and truly followed God with every way possible.  We started this series called 52 days and talked about Nehemiah and the rebuilding of the wall around Jerusalem in 52 days.  Long story short, asking God to crush our hearts for a BHAG (Big Hairy Audacious Goal).

Last night, Thursday, God was crushing my heart for something.  I don't know what.  I know i have ideas and plans for what i want education wise, job wise, relationship wise, but honestly these ideas mean nothing.  They are fun and i love dreaming, but i know as i pursue God, i am HIS WILL.  I love that, as i pursue my heavenly father, i am his will.  But last night God was breaking me to serve, where... no clue, God was breaking me to love, who... i couldn't give you a specific, but i know that He is breaking me to be a man of Love and Service.  I know he is giving me a BHAG and i know he is leading me somewhere, and even though i dont know the ending location... and i am ok with that because i know that I am His will.

No clue about the future, just ideas and dreams, just... family and fun. 

By Myself Alone

Why are you striving these days

Why are you trying to earn grace

Why are you crying

Let me lift up your face

Just don't turn away

Why are you looking for love

Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough

To where will you go child

Tell me where will you run

To where will you run

And I'll be by your side

Wherever you fall

In the dead of night

Whenever you call

And please don't fight

These hands that are holding you

My hands are holding you

Look at these hands and my side

They swallowed the grave on that night

When I drank the world's sin

So I could carry you in

And give you life

I want to give you life

(Chorus 2x)

Cause I, I love you

I want you to know

That I, I love you

I'll never let you go

(Chorus 2x)

So if you were to look at these lyrics you would see the title is not necessarily fitting... or is it?  The titles for these past few blogs has been more of a reflection of the state I am personally in and how these songs have met me, and how God has used these lyrics and these notes to speak love, joy, rest, peace, sacrifice into my life.

But i want you to focus on these two lines:

Why are you looking for love

Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough  

How beautiful and reflective this is of my life as i am searching for love in so many different places.  Searching for it from myself, from others such as family and friends. It is interesting that no matter the person, the activity, the joy and the love that it brings is so fleeting and means nothing compared to the Love that MY FATHER has for ME! :)   There is freedom in letting go, i have experienced it and it is so... relieving.  It is so relaxing to give God your relationships, especially ones that would involve pursuits.  God is my number one and always will be.  For as i pursue him, i hope and pray that he places the pieces of my life where they need to be.

But listen and fall in love with the savior.  Listen to this beauty.

(Tenth Avenue North - By Your Side)

Wellspring

Come to the waters, you who thirst and you'll thirst no more. 

Come to the father, you who work and you'll work no more. 

And all you who labor in vain and to the broken and shamed: 

Love is here. 

Love is now. 

Love is pouring from 

His hands, from his brows. 

Love is near, it satisfies. 

Streams of mercy flowing from his side. 

Cuz love is here. 

Come to the treasure, you who search and you'll search no more. 

Come to the lover you who want and you'll want no more, no. 

And all you who labor in vain and to the broken and shamed, 

Yeah: 

Love is here. 

Love is now. 

Love is pouring from his hands, from his brows. 

Love is near, it satisfies. 

Streams of mercy flowing from his side. 

Yeah 

And to the bruised and fallen, 

Captives, bound, and broken hearted. 

He is the lord 

He is the lord, 

Yeah 

By his stripes he's paid our ransom 

From his wounds we drink salvation 

He is the lord 

He is the lord 

Love is here. 

Love is now. 

Love is pouring from his hands, from his brows. 

Love is near, 

It satisfies. 

Streams of mercy flowing from his side. 

Streams of mercy flowing from his side. 

Cuz love is here 

Love is here.

I love these lyrics because it really tells how God is more then enough.  He can meet us wherever we are, and i have seen Him meet little old me this week in some amazing ways.  Mmmm i can't wait for later this week.  Ewww so much more.

But this song is amazing and this is the beginning of three.

(Tenth Avenue North - Love Is Here)

Oh and watch this video, watch the people.  I think the response of them is so unique ewww and there is this one guy, see if you spot him.  Lets play a little Where's Waldo, and now you may be saying Paul who am i looking for... well think about who i am, and you will find him.  Well peace out and enjoy.

(well i will be back to add the video, until then, click this link... link)

Broken

I used to live my life in fear

Was worried all the time

From waking up to laying down

I had no peace of mind

The world became a darkened place

A struggle without end

Although bitter times those were

The days that I had began to understand

I was only a man

I grew up singing songs in church

With questions in my mind

Then turned my back and ran away

From God who gave me life

Then one night his presence fell

I wept and shook and then

I fell down and cried, Dear Jesus, rescue me again

I understand I am only a man

And He said, What will it be now?

Will you choose me or keep swimming up stream now?

I've been inside your head hearing you scream out.

Well here I am, just take my hand and I'll take out 

All of the pain and all of the fear

All of the fear

I'll give you my burdens (I'll give you peace)

All of my desires (I'll give you what you need)

Oh, what about these chains, Lord? (I'll set you free)

But they're so heavy (Lay them at my feet)

I'll lay them at your feet

Just promise you won't leave (I'll never leave)

So where do I go from here, Lord? (Just follow me)

(Just follow me)

I'll follow you (Just follow me) wherever you lead

Wherever you lead, wherever you lead

So this last part you are looking about is Jonny in essence praying or talking to God and Him answering his questions or his prayers.

To me this is huge and beautiful and is very descriptive of where i am in life.  I may add more but right now... just read and sulk in its beauty.

(Jonny Lang - Only a Man)

Week of music

Well i am just going to give you a little heads up... this week and the posts that will be, well posted, will be songs that are really impactfull to me this week and this period of life that i am in right now.

God is bringing me to a new point in brokenness, and God is bringing me and my heart to a new point of understanding and preparedness for the future.  So anyway you will see some songs being posted, and depending on the mood i am in you may have an explanation of why i posted these songs or you may see posted certain parts of the song that are unreal to me.  But i was thinking about the posts that i could do, and to me, i was thinking i would love for these songs to do ministry for you as well, so in light of that mindset i may not interpret these songs for you, i may just let you read the lyrics and decide what they mean for you.  I mean if you want to know what i am thinking, please just ask and i will gladly tell you.

Well hope you enjoy this week because you will have one or two special gust artists but right now i see one of those special guest artists... hahah a  song for fun that is... one song from Mr. Jonny Lang, and three from an amazing band which you need to go to iTunes right now and download their album, and that band is Tenth Avenue North and their album Over and Underneath (plus you get a free video with it... yay. great video!)

Fun in the mornin

Well usually on Friday mornings this thing called FCA (Fellowship of Christian Athletes) happens and me and a couple of my friends lead worship for schools around where we live.  We mostly do High Schools but on occasion we do Middle Schools.  Also we have been known to do our own things at these FCA's and not travel as a group.  But that is neither here nor there for this story.

Oh Kennesaw Mountain High School, what a glorious FCA.  This whole situation is rather humorous.  So last night, Thursday, i spent the night at old Rob Greene's house so i could save gas and sleep in a little extra longer before we would leave to go and worship.  So we wake up, arrive pretty much right on time and we notice something a little different.  Mind you i have a nice little pimp walk going on and i went down to just carrying my djimbe.  Anywho, there is a small... very small toy like keyboard up front and so i had no idea what to think, i thought they were just going to give us some extra pizzaz or something, Rob thought it was for a skit.

So we get down to the front and the coach in charge of all this looks kinda shocked, and goes mentions the fact that they didn't know we were scheduled to play and that he actually had a student lined up.  Boom... Crazy... So we all just kinda laugh it up and the coach mentions he will bring us back, but it is just funny that a student that goes there, who wasn't really supposed to be leading worship just kept on keeping on.  Which is way ok, just kinda funny.

So now you are thinking maybe we just got our stuff all mixed up, mmm not so much.  We have a friend who is a part of the leadership for that FCA, maybe even the president, not sure, any way he is the one who called us to play.  So we walked out to the parking lot and did a little prank call to see if he knew what was going on.  Rob called and sounded all sleepy like and said that we just woke up so we would be late, and this friend of ours was great, he believed it, he said they usually have a guy who brings his guitar and they would just let him do a song or two before everything got kicked off.  So after we had him going for a few minutes we let him know what was up and he apologized but all that to say... way to start your morning.  Andrew who had to drive 30 minutes, just drove to say good morning... what a good friend.

I think this is humorous, you have any funny Friday stories?

Oh It's coming

I like outdoorsy activities like climbing kayaking, and other such things... you know, outdoorsy activities.  I like to wrestle and play around with fighting and such and tonight... the start of something great was decided.

A friend and I are going to box, it is going to be good fun and gloves will be bought, wars will be fought, (not really) and it will be fun... hopefully for both parties.

Now don't think we are trying to cut up beef and grill it because we have no problems with each other, this is all in good fighting fun.

So all i have left to say is... get ready... for

FIGHT NIGHT 08!!!