Look around at the beauty

I may have mentioned this in a previous blog or to a few people in a few conversations but God is Amazing.  Now that isn't what i have mentioned before... well it is but not what i really mean to mention right here and now.

Soooo... lets move right to it.

God has been teaching me to slow down and see the beauty that is around me.  And oh is it always fun to remember to slow down and just look around.  Not that these moments are necessarily huge God moments where he is coming down from heaven and blowing up a car in front of me or something, or making a guy in a wheel chair get up and walk, but these moments are priceless and i am soooo pumped that i took time to notice them.

I was coming back from Athens yesterday afternoon and i decided to take a new way home.  I had my dad's Garmin GPS so i wasn't worried about getting lost.  But of of Jimmy Boulevard, is that right, is that even a road off of 85, any who, i took a new way home.  Well i was about to turn on to Buford Highway, at least i think it was Buford, and i looked to my right and what I saw was one of those guys holding those signs.  You know, nothing out of the ordinary, he had some head phones on and then i saw him get crazy... i wish i had pictures, well really a video, but this man was on fire and gave his job more then the normal effort.  The sign was probably a foot in height and four feet or something like that in length, but this man was dancing like wild with this sign.  It was unreal.  He was turning it around throwing it over his back, spinning it and with it, i mean this guy was amazing, and i just thought, God thank you for this.

The other moment i saw was just driving to Bruton's house and saw a horse drawn carriage, well two horses pulling i think two carriages with rebel flags in the back and men that were shirtless and had foot long beards.  It was amazing.  I love God and the beauty and amazing sights that he has given me to see.

Plus after that awesome view i was able to go to the 14th annual Bruton family fish fry.  It was awesome got to meet and hang out with some cool people and played two hours of some intense volleyball (if it was any more intense it would be camping) haha, haha, wow. :)  But after that faded and after the amazing food and snacks which actually preceded the olympically awesome game of volleyball, Bruton and i got in the hot tub, great for the muscles and just had some beautiful conversation.  Some well needed time of just hearing each others life for the past little bit.  It ended with some prayer but i loved it.  I love my buddy Eric and getting to catch up and just talk was awesome.  I just love relationships and being open to let God lead them where they go.  I mean i felt so good leaving him, and just encouraged. 

Well again, remember, to slow down and notice the crazy and beautiful creation that God has placed around you.

Interviewing Some Potentials

First i would like to start off by saying i love Josh and Caroline Cody.  What a cute couple.  I got to have dinner with them tonight, and they graciously payed.  I was soo pumped about that. I mean it was unexpected and i nice little surprise.  But it was pretty cool because i was able to chat it up and shoot the breeze with Caroline who i haven't seen in ages.  So that was great getting to catch up, but just as amazing for me was getting to talk to her hubby and getting to know him more.   (The Grill or whatever it is called in Athens, one of the best Chocolate shakes i have ever had in my entire life).

But tonight was great, besides the whole conversation dealio because we had SWAT INTERVIEWS!!! They were amazing, and even though a few of my friends couldn't make it, we had some solid and unreal leaders come through.  It was cool being a part of the whole process and God showed me a lot in that.  That I don't have to do anything specific those nights, just build relationships with those potential new leaders and love on them.   Well not to go into detail, because it is too early to, but God had his hand over everything, and even though we did it more efficiently this year, the whole process of deciding on the leaders went incredibly smooth and God blessed us amazingly.

I loved it because i was able to meet some new people, one girl that goes to KSU.  She is getting married but man is she on fire for God, it is sooo cool to just listen to her and hear her passions.

I am just so excited with all of the leaders that God has blessed us with, it makes me think as I look back, how in the heck did i get here.?  Well as brief as this is, know that tonight was amazing for relationships and fun, plus i found out a second ago that my friend Mac Cockrell has a blog... go to it. www.macthemind@blogspot.com.  

Peace out and A-town down my friends.

Little by little

Little by little... what does that mean, over the next few days you will start seeing some changes to my profile... and hopefully me. :)  I would do most of it now, but hey it is so early in the morn and i have to wake up in a few ours all so i can worship the King of Kings at Kennesaw Mountain High School.

Things i have realized tonight though:

1. I need to slow down and realize the beauty that God has all around me.  I recently began asking myself why am i not experiencing these adventures that i did while i was in Alaska?  Why am I not falling in love with the beauty around me? Why am i so empty, why no stories, why no.... blahhhh!!!  And tonight God gently opened my eyes to the pace i was going at life, 100 mph, when He desires me to go 45 and cruise slowly cruise threw this thing called life.  Enjoy the experiences that He has put in my life, enjoy the people, the life, the everything.

2.  Everything is spiritual.  God is working in my life now to pre-pare for the future.  I hate the process but i love it so much.  At this college deal at North Metro called Echo we are studying Nehemiah and learning about him rebuilding the wall of Jericho.  He is so patient in waiting with God as he prepares him for great things.  This idea of everything is spiritual has been brought up by a friend of mine and a few times recently.  God is amazing.  I need to do my best in school and work and ministry and so much, but God has a plan for it all, and even though it seems like a lot, lets be real... it is all worth it.

3.  Taking back OUR story.  I don't have this B-HAG (Big Harry Audacious Goal) except that i want to build community and relationships with people.  I want to bring people together to serve Christ.  I want to know YOUR story and for you to know MINE, so that we can edify, build up, the body of Christ.  As we learn and listen of each others experiences we are building up the body of Christ.  So realize and understand that your story is mine and mine is yours.  How beautiful is that.  Man i love my God.

So with these three things, understand and know that i am following him with everything.  Know that a few things and the look of this blog will be changing and know that i desire to share life and stories with you...

Get ready for God to change US for HIM!!!

Process De Life

I am thrilled about the process of life.  Man some things surely suck, but over all i am pumped and excited to see what God is doing in my life from school, job (which is way way slow of a process - booo procrastination) and relationships, which involves a lot of learning in patience and self control.  Plus it involves memorizing names and being sociable and outgoing, but mainly patience... tuff.  But in all this patience and self control i find much joy in pursuing God and seeing where he puts people in my life.  About seeing how he directs me with school, ministry, family, and life decisions.  

I recently had a pretty amazing conversation with a gentleman who goes by the name Eugene.  It was a glorious conversation and was needed for the time and place that i am in in my life.  The main things that he mentioned was finding your self worth in Christ alone, and by realizing that life and all its happenings are part of a process.  This process called life is amazing with all its twists and turns and that is why i desire with everything in me to drink of it deeply. 

As i have been on this process and journey since i have been back from Alaska it seems that i have been falling back into the complacency of where i was before.  I got this negative feeling this morning, that has honestly started to eat me alive.  This feeling that i am falling away from Christ, not like I am losing my salvation, but that i am not pursuing him as i should.  This feeling came over me in some big ways this morning and even last night as i began to realize that even though i was praying for others, there was parts of my prayer time that were selfish.  I started praying last night and this morning and began to realize that i am pursuing others and other things more then i am pursuing God.  So as i thought back to what Eugene and I talked about i began to remember my absolute desire to give all of me for God, to pursue HIM with everything in me.  I started to think about this process and the fact that Eugene mentioned that as he pursued God, God put certain people and things perfectly in place for where he is now.

What an encouragement my friends, to remember and realize as i pursue God he will put things perfectly in place, so there is no worry about where certain relationships, job opportunities, and how school things will fall.  I am not saying to just slack off and let things happen, but I am saying as I pursue God he will put things in place that fall in line with my heart and my plans, which i pray and hope are His will.  

So this process of life... as hard as it is i am enjoying it.  This process of life, i can't wait to see all the adventures God blesses me with as i pursue him.  So i really just ask that you help me by praying that i continue to pursue him fervently with everything, and to not fall into the complacency of where  i was before.  Oh and i would say this... together, lets drink deeply of this adventure called life. 

Fear that Grips

There is something (hint hint, look at the title) that is gripping my life.  It started quite a little bit ago when I was trying to do a gainer.  (Running forwards and jumping and then doing a back flip)  My body gets stuck sometimes strait up and down, i fear with everything in my to do an entire flip.  My legs stay stiff or my upper half does and so there is no rotation.  I know you are thinking, Paul you crazy, kid, this is nothing to worry about.  I would agree, accept this one little instance is affecting me in really small yet impacting ways. 

I mean with every decision above my basic needs there is now this little voice in the back of my head saying ahhhh you cant do it.  Don't worry about it.  I get weak on the inside, my body goes numb and i have to really really concentrate and think hard to actually complete a simple task.  I love to give platelets, i know you are saying who loves to get needles stuck into them and get there blood taken out, filtered and then put back into them.  Well that person is me, it is huge and impacting for other peoples lives.  Cancer patients will get those platelets and it will give them a little something something to help them live.  The reason how i found out about platelets and the reason why i give is in honor of one of the most amazing women, one of the best mom's i can think of, Marge Lipop.  What an amazing women of God.  She was absolutely beautiful.  I loved her servants heart as she believed in us youth and as she served us and brought joy to everyone around her.  It was an encouragement to here from Mr. Lipop how she actually cared and loved for me.  I was too young to actually give platelets at the time, but now, for her and everyone else... I give.  But there is a greater fear then before about giving them.  I can literally feel a slight pain in the arm as i think about giving.

Then there is being myself.  God is creating me to be more outgoing and sociable for his glory and his purpose.  It is amazing to see how he actually is changing me.  But there was this social gathering at my friends apartment, FOXXY MOMMA! and one of his roommates is the RA of that building and so there was a bunch of people over.  So i was just being myself and goofing around and saying some stuff to help break the awkward silence for them.  Well i was about to leave and the Fox and the guys that i was there to see, we were off in another room asked me to sing a little.  The phrase that you must shout out with umpf is "My mind is telling me know... but my body, but my bodys tellin me yes!"  So it took me awhile to break through this dumb fear and actually just shout it to the roof tops.

I know these aren't important scenarios, but how far will this fear grip me?  In what way is it going to hinder me?  I want it gone, i want to do that gainer, i want to shout out what my bodys telling me, (haha) i want to live OUT LOUD... but how can i when this fear grips me and is choking me out?

Names Names

I meet people, say hi, learn a little about them and forget their names.  If i am lucky enough i remember their faces but why never their names.

I mean this one guy i met tonight at Echo (click it), North Metro's Thursday night service for peeps that are in college or the twenties.  I forget his name but i remember that he is the intern for high school ministries at Roswell Street Baptist Church.  I remember a little of his story but not his name.  Agghhhh, i hate it.

Please pray for me to be able to continue to be more outgoing and sociable, building relationships by God's power and that i could remember stories, faces, and most importantly for me... names.

Heresy, False Teaching, and the Emergent Church

So as i was looking at a you tube video today, i saw this picture with a crazy caption.  The picture was of the LifeWay Logo, and the caption was false teaching.  Now you should probably watch this video before reading on.  So here is the site...

False Teaching

Man, at first watch this made me so mad listening to what this guy was saying, and to who he was talking about.  I mean he was saying that Rob Bell, Erwin McManus, LifeWay, Rick Warren and others and the products and things they say are full of heresy.  I was honestly becoming so enraged at what this person was saying, but then i remembered something...

Why get mad and go on the defensive of this guy, why waste my efforts and just bringing up negative perceptions of him.  Why judge him and say he is full of lies.  Why should i fall into the same scheme as him.  Instead, God started filling me with something else, love and compassion towards this person.  I started listening to the overall message and it was solid.  It talks about how we should test everything against God's word (aka the Bible).  I completely agree with that.

For me, before i read these books by all the others mentioned before, i pray God i know everything in here is not golden, but i pray that you open my eyes to the truth and help me grow through reading these books.  We as Christians need to remember that the people we hear and the people we read are humans.  I would completely agree and say that they are filled by God, and God gives them grace and wisdom and knowledge to write these books.  I would go to say that God gives us these resources not as substitutes for the Bible but as a supplement, something to further guide and explain the scriptures.  In this video the guy mentions that the reason we cling to these books is because they are so relevant in the times, and i say AMEN.  Why would we want to read something that doesn't connect to us?  I mean when we listen to people speak we want to hear personal stories to show connection for us to the speakers but most importantly how are lives are in connection with the scriptures.

I fully believe this guy went about putting out his message in the wrong way, but he has a solid message when you see through all the judging and condemnation.

Also, if you wanted to search more through the videos related to this you would see and hear more views that just seem so scared and judgmental.  Videos that break up the body of Christ instead of edifying the body of Christ.  To be honest, i have learned that in sharing my opinions i am arrogant.  So in learning that and applying everything else i have learned this summer, I want to come into discussions, debates, whatever with love and sacrifice... not to be walked on, but also not to be arrogant and judgmental.  

And even as i searched some videos and found a guy who is the pastor of Mars Hill Church in D.C., i found myself agreeing with a lot of what he said and then he said something that i didn't agree with and i just remembered what a lady and i had discussed on my flight back to Atlanta... God gave each and everyone of us a brain to figure things out and think on our own.  So i was comforted by the fact that i didn't have to agree with everything, that i didn't have to see what some consider evil.  That people may call others heretics, false teachers, or blame emergent churches but i can come into this place called life, and be a man of love and sacrifice and get to know God and serve him and his people.

Cant see whats there

Perceptions... Bitter nonsense blinding me of the love God is desperately trying to show me through individuals and experiences.

Perceptions... Something that has hindered me and my ministry as i try so desperately to serve God.

What are your thoughts on perceptions?  Because i wanna know what you think because i am about to fill you in on my thoughts this ordeal.

I was having lunch with a good friend of mine named Rob McDowell.  What a stud. In having lunch with him last Wednesday we got to talk about perceptions.  As we were talking about it, i learned that my perceptions of people and of a certain church was blinding me from the love that they really were showing me.  I know this is an incredibly short version of the turn around but it was an amazing lunch, if you want the more full story i would love to tell you about it in person.   Any way, it really got me thinking about the destructive power of my perceptions was for me and my ministry.  Those perceptions kept me from being this man of love and service.  Because as i thought about it, i understood and realized that these perceptions were false and that i just needed to go into situations with love and service.  I needed to just talk to people and find out who they are instead of being blinded by the falsities of life.

Well i went down to old Dublin Georgia for a SWAT weekend and Jon invited this one guy, his name was Jordan to come and see how the SWAT weekends went.  He was from around that area so it was easy for him to just pop on in.  When i first met him, he just seemed so full of himself to me and that he really wouldn't open up.  But i dropped that perception and just goofed around with him and was myself.  And as the weekend progressed God opened my eyes to see the joy and love in this guys heart.  He was so much fun to hang out with and get to know.  So much fun that we clipped, (clothes pined) the youth pastor before he gave the morning announcements and introduced the video. Funny Funny stuff, if you don't get it, just ask.

Also, the band, Jeremy Curtis Band.  I thought that some of their peeps were all about being the band and just about themselves.  I didn't get much time to talk to them, but i dropped those perceptions and talked with them at lunch on Sunday and God opened my eyes to the truth.  They may have seemed a little standoffish at first, but in talking to them we were able to joke around and just have some mad fun.  I mean lunch was a stinkin blast.  I mean we had Seal and Bojangles there.  What a blast.

I want to live a life with no perceptions, just of truth and love.  There is no time for guessing games, ministry and relationships needs to be done and built.  Pray for me on this. 

Night Oh Worship

So... i am already in the full swing of life here in Georgia.  So much so that i have a class that starts tomorrow at 8:00 IN THE MORNING. :(  I know, some of you reading this have job's and are up much earlier then that and have to be at your place of work much earlier but i just got back, so my body is a little slow right now.  Although i feel that i am adjusting to the time zone fairly well.

Any who today i went to lunch with Luke at Moe's and conveniently left my wallet at my house (i really forgot it) so he had to pay for my meal.  hahah, i felt so bad.  Then after that we went to the pool and so i jumped and jumped and jumped... and jumped and jumped and jumped well over fifty times from this one diving board trying to do a gainer, and accomplishing nothing, not even a half spin.  I felt so defeated doing the same thing over and over again.  Then before i tried doing the 51st jump a guy at the pool we were at pretty much said i was too fat to be jumping off the diving board that was just replaced.  I mean not in those words but he pretty much said it.  So that was lame and then we went to my pool and i felt sooo sooo defeated and eventually gave up after Foxy momma and Luke went to get ready for the Night of Worship at Buckhead Church.  So i gave up, defeated and just angry at myself.

Now some of you may be thinking Paul, it is a hard trick, don't beat yourself up, and to that i say... I have done the flip before, i am just...scared.  I hate to admit it, i have commitment issues.  I hate being frightened of things.  So pretty much i was mad at myself and still a little disappointed.  I knew though the Devil was using this feeling of disappointment to get me away from where i needed to be personally to worship corporately that night.

So as i went home a little angry i got ready met Luke and Foxy and left for the Night of Worship.  We got to the church and went inside and this one lady was telling us where there was space left and she said something that i didn't here and then i heard "or you can go in the front to the mosh pit." (the word mosh seems like it isn't spelt right, apple seems to think not at least)  Any way's i thought to myself, what a disrespect of worship and this spirt of judgment came over me and it seemed that i was becoming consumed with pointing out things here and there and as we got to our seats i just sat down and prayed.  I prayed that God would remove this feeling of disappointment, of judgment and of bitterness.  There is a lot of stuff going on in my life and i knew i couldn't fully worship God the way he desires, with everything in me, unless i came to him in my state of sin and filth and just asked him to cleanse me.  As I sat through a song or two God worked within me and gave me this spirit of freedom from all of that garbage and junk that i have been carrying around for awhile and all that new junk that was just added on that day.

I love how are savior frees us time and time again from all sorts of struggles. :)

The last thing i want to say is this, it is something that i realized almost four years ago, and that is this... Music goes beyond words and knowledge.  It affects the body and mind and spirit in some amazing and unreal ways.  God moved me through this worship to tears of joy and just awe as i soaked up his love.  It was amazing to have one of the guys lead a song in spanish as the words came out in both spanish and english.  The place exploded with God's love.  God is beautiful and he was in that place, showering us with love as we sang with hearts abandoned to him.  The body of Christ was truly edified through this time tonight, through prayer and through song.

God... is... Good!

Here we go again

2nd times a charm right? Ehhh Ehhh?  Well i am off to the airport for one more try to get out of this beautiful place.

Don't get me wrong i love it here and if God called me i would stay a life time, but i am just so ready to get home and to rock it out with love and serventhood.  I am pumped to see how God will bless my ministry, and i can see that he is all ready lining up some things to provide for my needs.  I LOVE MY GOD!!!  But i need to give what is his back to him, i know that means everything, but i have fallen off the bandwagon of tithing and i can use the excuse that i tithe my time and my life, but i want to give him everything... and that includes finances.

So i am pumped to be coming home.  I am pumped to build community and work with others.  And i am pumped for the relationships that he has in store and how he will change them.  And as nervous as i am about that, I know my God will provide.  

Oh and the next post will be about my dream last night, it involves a Grizzly, or a brown bear. Same creature, one just lives inland and the other lives near the ocean fronts.  You know mountain man and beach man kinda thing.

Tootles my peeps, and SEE YOU IN HOTLANTA!!!