Humbled worshiper

God is amazing!  Great way to start off a blog, i know.  He has blessed me with so many opportunities and places and people to serve and serve along side of.  I think back to my past and all the amazing opportunities and can't imagine how i have been so privileged.  I love it.  I love God.

Even though right now is a time of learning and patience for me, he is still allowing me some amazing opportunities to serve him.  I have been privileged over the past month and a half to help lead worship a few times at North Metro Church in the theater.  It has been an amazing time and God has used it to build trust, humbleness, and confidence in me and who i am.  I honestly at times doubt myself and the skills he has blessed me with but through words of affirmation he shows me his love and reminds me of the talent he has blessed me with.  I count it an honor each Sunday i get to play, no matter how short or long it may last. 

Tat's + BBQ = PC&E 25th anniversary

So my brother works for this company called PC&E and they rent out equipment for people to shoot things like commercials, videos and all sorts of other things.  My brother helps set up and prep the stages for the people who are coming to the warehouse.  Well this past Saturday PC&E had its annual party to celebrate its existence and to say thanks to all its clients.

I didn't see or notice any famous people there but it was still a blast.  One of the coolest things about this event was that the employees could invite their family and i guess close friends, so my entire family went and it was a blast.  There was cotton candy as soft and as big as clouds.  Popcorn that rivaled the theaters and best of all, little tattoo's that you could put on, so i put on a decorative one that had a heart and the word mom over the heart... I know the greatest son in the world.  

There was also these huge inflatables, one was a spongebob jumping one and the other was a great big slide.  I was the uncle climbing up the slide with nieces and nephews sliding down with them.  In fact, it was a really steep climb and so Kayle, my sisters little boy, loves these things but had trouble climbing them himself so as i trekked up this 25 foot steep hill i had him in one hand as i was helping pull myself up with the other, and when we summated the top i put him in my lap and we slid down... all for some pictures which my parents and other siblings have.

So then it came time to eat and they had Williamson's Brothers there but they also had some other people there who do BBQ and stew's for competitions and they were out of this world good.  The stew was incredible and what made it better was the ribs that complimented it.  The ribs were finger-licking good as they feel off the bones.  MMMMM MMMM.  So this night was a ton of fun and i enjoyed the time hanging out with my family.  

So when was the last time you were able to hang out with your family.  Please share your story, i know i would love to hear about it.

Mountains of fun

So Thursday i was privileged with getting to hang out with one of my favorite friends, Shannon White. (You should probably check out her blog)  Any ways, to start this whole shindig off i would just like to say i hate traffic.  Well now that i got that out of the way, lets move on.

Shannon and i met up at the QT off of Bells Ferry Rd. and so our adventure began, a little later then expected but it is because of traffic, which is dumb.  So as this adventure began i had planned it as a surprise kinda hang out deal.  I just told her what kinda clothes to wear and that was it.  So when we met at the QT she asked what we were doing and i told her the location and we headed off.  

We went to Kennesaw Mountain to look at some amazing views and get a little eat on but when we got there it was 30 minutes before the mountain trail closed so we had to change plans a little.  So we got to the top and checked out the first amazing view, but the smog and darkness of the night kinda hid some of the views like Stone Mountain.  But we got to see the ATL, what we thought was Buckhead, and Marietta among other places.  Well after we spent a little time there we went on a little walk, which is up hill and so a little strenuous for me, but she handled it like a pro.  Any who we got to the top and went to another look out and saw more of God's beautiful creation.  I mean he is amazing and pretty good at this creation stuff.

Well we stayed at that last look out for a few minutes and then remembered we had to be down the hill by 7:30 so we walked back to the car and made it down with a minute to spare.  Yes, good timing, i know.  Well the rest of the night we just drove around and talked about a ton of different things and it was just a great time to catch up and see where we were both at in life.  Well as we got back to the QT we said our goodbyes and went home.  Well she went home and i went to Echo.  So all in all it was a great night of adventure in fun.

Alaska to Tennessee to Georgia

Well while i was in Alaska i met this amazing team from Tennessee.  While i was there one of my prayers was that i would be able to bond and connect with a team in a huge way and God answered that prayer fully.  When the team got back from the the village that they had such a huge impact in we took them on a sight seeing trip and that is where i got to know them real well.  It was such an amazing time of bonding and just having a ton of fun.  I mean i talked about this team before in another blog entry in June called, What? Another late night pick up?  Well any who, i was able to trade information and cell phone numbers and i have been able to keep in contact with this team through Trey, he's a pretty cool guy.

And so two people from the team, Trey, and his brother-in-law Chris came down to a conference at First Baptist Woodstock and i met up with them for dinner.  It was an incredible time of hanging out and sharing stories.  A lot of good laughs and just an all around good time.  I loved every second of it and hope to be able to go up to Tennessee some time to visit them in their place of living.

Well here are a couple of pictures from the night. 

(Uh Oh where is Trey... behind my face is where he is.

Chris is in blue and Chris's wife Tina is behind him and 

there friend Amy is behind Trey)

(Oh There is Trey, up close and personal)

(And this is all of us)

And the lesson we have learned from the first and last pictures is this... Chili's employees need to work on photo taking.  I mean they are great and nice people, but a lack a little in the photo taking department.

He does actually answer prayers

So I went to Kennesaw Mountain today to do a little scouting and check out the old stompin grounds from the war days and i went back to this one little ledge hidden away on the right trail and just sat there for about thirty minutes and communed with God.  Had a little chat, a little one way deal, me talkin to him, for a little bit and then i just listened to God.

I have been recently distracted by something that is just so tiring.  Patience sucks but it is well worth it, just hard to stay strong with little affirmation.  And so i was just praying to God and listening to him.  But one main thing i prayed for was in relation to the complacency of my life.  I prayed that he would once again open my eyes and ears to the joys and struggles around me.

So anyway, i left that glorious view and walked back to my car... in the rainbows my brother bought me, BOO YAH! and i saw these two guys next to the lookout place i was going to and they mentioned Atlanta  and were pointing towards the wrong city... So i helped guide them, kinda like Alaska and talked to them briefly but one gentleman said he has been here five years and each time he tried to come to the top of the mountain the road to it was closed for hikers, until today.  So i told them of the great look out i had just come from, and they joked and said "Are you like a guide or something, i mean we could pay you, we have a few dollars."  We laughed, but i had to go so i said my goodbye and left.  I give myself a seven on the dismount, i feel i could have handled it better.

But all this to say that he answers prayers.  I had just prayed that my eyes and ears would be open up to the joys (Getting to the top of the mountain and going on a little hike) and struggles (being here five years and never making it to the top) of those around me.  I love God.

Collaboration of the Weekend

Well i dont know if you know this... but i love, love, LOVE the weekends.  It is a time of relaxing and just being at ease... it is wonderfully beautiful.  I mean it isn't like i am telling most of you anything new, i just wanted to throw this little opener in here.

Well my Friday night was a blast, started out with no plans, then i got a few and decided on the one where i could help my friend with the houseboat.  He got this houseboat two years ago i think and we have been fixing up little things here and there ever since.  The inside is 95% done and looks great, the outside on the other hand, not so much.  So let me tell you a story.

One of my friends commented on our buddies houseboat saying, "I really want to have a Halloween party and have it on the houseboat, i mean it isn't like we would have to change the outside because it is all ready scary enough."  So our friend, Scott Thom took that to heart.  I mean the outside of the boat isn't that bad but it could be spruced up so for the past week or so we have been fixing it up.  We painted the outside, did the trim around the windows and just about finished putting down the carpet tonight.  All of these projects have spanned a few weeks obviously but it is coming together swimmingly well.

Well Saturday as we woke up from our work night on the houseboat, my friend Luke and i met my brother at Dick's Sporting Good's and after not finding a pair of rainbows that fit, we went to look for a shirt for my brother. (haha) :)  So we went into Surftown and i saw the pair of rainbows that i thought would fit, and guess what, because of my fat feet, they didn't come close.  So we went back over to Dick's and got the first pair of rainbows that i thought could have been a little too big.  I love my brother for this belated birthday present.  So i eventually went home and rocked it out watching the movie Children of Men.  It was ok, nothing to write home about though, i mean if i didn't have this blog, i really wouldn't have mentioned it.

But Sunday... ewwww today was a blessing.  I was given the honor of playing hand percussion for North Metro for the main service upstairs in their theater.  It is a smaller and more personal venue.  But God rocked this morning.  Honestly every time i play i am constantly praying to just stop worrying about playing wrong things, or messing up, or to focus on worship not impressing others.  I mean God has blessed me greatly with this talent, and i am humbled by it.  I just get sooo nervous but God has comforted me with words of affirmation which i hold sooo soo dear, (They are one of my love languages).  Well that is all for now, I know Sunday was rushed but besides chicken and alfredo with the Thoms for lunch and then chicken and cheese quesadillas for dinner.  I am just resting peacefully, on my deck relaxing in this amazing windy and cloudy night that God has so beautifully and wonderfully made, waiting to watching Pushing Daisies with my Moo Moo.  Love that show.

Giving it ALL

Last night, there was this thing called Echo at North Metro.  (Kinda rhymed)  It is a college and 20's Bible Study on Thursday night.  The series is called NUMB3RS and it is on money and finances, your own that is.  Trust me on on this next group of words... it is interesting, well worth it and a humbling blessing.

We were posed with a question, can you give God everything?  I mean after all everything is spiritual, everything is his.  What are you doing with that other 90%.  What are you doing about debt.  Are you willing to give God your debt's, your loans?

As i left Echo tonight I prayed.  I basically said "God i find it so easy, and i find that i actually have given up family, friends, my life in some ways, but i haven't really given up money."  And as i thought about that, it dawned on me that i really hadn't actually given up anything.  Without giving up everything, i don't believe i had given up anything.  I mean sure at times i have sacrificed family, friends, and finances for him, but all in all i haven't given up everything.  I was left humbled and broken.  I am not that much into debt, but i am in debt.  I want to be out of it.  I want to be out of it in break neck speed.  I want to be free from slavery and bondage and in Gods authority.

I want to literally give everything to God.  I want to give my finances, family, friends, life, everything to him.  Yes... i am a Christ follower, but i haven't given up everything.  It is just... i don't know.  All i do know is that i desperately desire to give God my money and debts, i mean after all, everything is spiritual... right? 

Lets get real.

Today, tonight, whatever you want to say, we are going to get real.  I mean down to the nitty gritty real.  My better judgement is telling me to sensor my thoughts, considering this is going to the masses... and so because of that i am, but i will write this blog fully, then erase the parts that may be a little too graphic for all.  I mean if you want the full story, then please shoot me an email or respond in some way and i can send you the full unedited truth.  But realize this, don't read on if the truth scares you.

In this thing called taking back OUR story i am real... very real and upfront.  I just feel God gives us a sensor and at times we need to use it, out of respect for others.  So please don't take this intro as something that is against this blog and being upfront.  I want to tell the truth always and be strait-forward, but again the reason why i feel i can do some things doesn't mean others can or should do them as well.  We are all different and individual and unique.  Never lose the luster of that.  So all that to say, ask and you shall receive.  Now lets get real.

I guess this all starts back in Alaska.  As i was in Alaska, i had some amazing times with God and just growing in him.  One of my biggest fears was falling back into the complacency of where i was before i left.  I mean i had three months of a great escape into a new adventure and it was a blessing and well worth it.  But now... i am back in Georgia and it has only been two months and i have slipped right back into the traps and snares that got me before.  I hate looking back on this little bit that i have been back and seeing the lust that i am seeking after and falling into.  As i fall back into the things i hate i have no idea where this man God has been transforming me into has gone.  I hate it because as my mind is taken to a dark land of lust, the way i look at people, women, and the thoughts that encompass them, they are sometimes the furthest thing from what God desires.  These sins change the way i look at women and i despise it with everything in me.  I quite literally sat on the couch the other day and thought about it, i thought about the fear that i have fallen into.  I thought back to my greatest fear of coming back to my friends, house, and comfort zones and going back to a place where i don't want to continue to go.

You may be wondering where this is going... so let me tell you.  It is going towards love.

Did you get that?  This blog, this thought... its going towards love.  YES, LOVE!!!

While i was in Alaska, God continued to transform me from a man of hate and lust and greed, among other things, and HE continues to restore me to a man of LOVE, sacrifice, and service.  As God has continued to transform me, he has brought me to truths and showed me some amazing things.  As i fell back into my life of lust God would teach me something in the most unlikely of times.  As soon as my conscience caught up with me i would get this overwhelming feeling of Love from God.  I thought back to the scriptures that I was reading, 1 Corinthians 13, more specifically 1 Corinthians 13: 5 " Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged."  As i find myself in a place of brokenness, as i think i have failed and am worth nothing, God's love shines through all of that, and it is as if he whispers "Paul I still love you, I keep no record of any of this. I LOVE YOU."  Also, i was reading this book called Soul Cravings by Erwin McManus and then i just stopped reading it for awhile, but i have just picked it back up and started reading the first chapter... if thats what you can call it even, where i had left off and some amazing truth was brought out and shown to me.

In the book Erwin mentioned God is an unconditional lover, who pursues us with everything no matter what.  No matter how many times we reject him, he is still giving his unconditional love.  He has love for us no matter what.  His love is unconditional.  I agree with Erwin when he mentions that we find God's love so unreal and can't fathom something that is unending no matter what.  He gives the example of the woman caught in adultery in John 8: 1-11 and mentions how Jesus forgave her.  He didn't hold her sins against her, he didn't shove them right in her face.  He forgot the wrong and asked that she sin no more.  He asked that she accept his unconditional love and live her life for him.  It is such a beautiful picture of Gods unconditional love, this love i feel so often, even in my worst of times.

As I think about this love though, i desire to give that to others, i desire so much to love others unconditionally.  I desire with everything in me to pursue God with everything and love him.  But honestly i find myself pursuing people and relationships more fervently then God sometimes.  Just as in Song of Songs where the woman searches high and low for her lover, i desire to search for God like that.  I know he is looking for me like that, I also know that God is right there just waiting for me sometimes, but at times i choose the relationships i can see right in front of me.  It makes me wonder, as i pursue one other, is that right, is God allowing me this, or is it just me.  As i think about this, i remember that i may be pursuing this one girl, but more then that... my whole desire is to search and seek after God and as i do that i believe i am his will.  So all in all i think worrying about the pursuit of another is sometimes a useless worry and distraction, but at other times i think you need to check yourself and where your priorities are.  I mention all of this to ask a question of myself, but also to pose a question to you, how deep does your love for your heavenly father go.  Does it go to Sundays and Wednesdays, to an occasional Bible study, or to a song or two, or is it with your whole life.

I know i personally find myself constantly making sure that i am pursuing him above all others and that i am seeking him.  As i am on this journey, as God grows me, i find him restoring me into this man of love, sacrifice and service.  I find him restoring me to passionately lay down everything for him.  I find him restoring me and whispering his unconditional love for me... no matter what. 

Jealousy... it is a bitter green monster. :)

So I am pretty pumped about this post, it lets you know a little about my childhood... so enjoy. :)

Well last week we moved my sister into her new apartment, as some of you reading this blog will know.  So while we, the kids of our family, helped April move, the grandkids stayed with the parents and played at our house.  Well we finally got April moved in and we were all home and my nephew Vann was huffing and puffing and so my mom said she was going to help him by breaking out some new toys.  I had know idea what she was referring to but was wondering what these "new" toys were.

Well my mom brings out this plastic crate full of memories.  I looked inside the plastic... tub more then crate actually, and just reminisced for a few minutes.  I kept on finding myself just drawn to touch and fool around with these toys.  It was so cool to uncover some of these lost and forgotten toys.  I mean so many of these hold some great memories.  Most of them are from one of the greatest TV shows of all times, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and there are even some from Duck Tales... wait, not duck tales but another show with a duck and he was a super hero... if you think about it, let me know.  Any who it was a blast!  I mean it was sooo cool! My nieces had a hard time getting me away from those toys, i mean Vann and i just played for a long time with those toys.

Well enough talking about these toys, here are some pictures... try not to get jealous. :)

(Yep, you are looking pretty much all the original pieces of TMNT...

including the pizza shooting vehicle)

(This toy is amazing, called a dragon fly. They had a show.

But this toy is sitting on a dragon, you pull the dragon's tail

and it shoots the guy in the air and he FLYS DOWN!!!)

(MMMM good old TMNT movies, and yes, that is a raisin)

(The Box of Sweet Sweet Goodness and Memories)

Worrying Response

This is a response to my friends Shannon's blog, i figured this was a better place to put large amounts of texts.  So this is a response to Love-Hate Relationship.

I worry so much myself over things i can't control.  I find myself failing to the same problems and sins over and over again, and as i slip further down that hill, i become more entrenched in the muck and grime and it is harder to clean off.  Literally so hard to get rid of something that i think is coating me.  Funny thing is though, i am clean because someone took my sins away.  I know i am pure and looked at as such by my heavenly father no matter what and when i ask for forgiveness, but just because i can do something doesn't really mean i should... or should i.

Honestly that is a rhetorical question, i know it is truth that i shouldn't do something just because i can.  It is interesting to me though that as i constantly read over 1 Corinthians 13: 1-13 God shows me his truth and light.  How does this have to do with worry, because everything is spiritual and everything that i do in my life affects me and the way i think.

I have no suggestions for my friend Shannon on how to counteract these daily battles because i find myself struggling to trust God and to give over everything that i am about.  I find myself lost within myself hoping that i will find an answer about relationships, about jobs, about school about life.  I find myself not trusting and God and trying to grab on to things that don't matter and are not in my control.  Honestly the only advice that i would have is to chase and run after God with everything that you have.  As i have sought his face it has given me peace and joy.  As i have treasured the literal word of my father he has brought me wisdom and discernment, but in all of that i still find myself worrying about the future, and all these little pieces of my life i try to fit into certain places instead of God helping me be whole.  I find myself following my heart instead of God protecting it for me.

I know these thoughts are jumbled up together, but you know what, i am consumed with something that doesn't matter, that only hurts me... and that is worry.  I wish i could offer something of a little more substance but i can't.  I just trust in God and he continues to fill me up and lead me on this thing called life, and when i rest in his arms, joy... not worry consumes me.

Rest in him for he is by your side whenever you call.